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‘Your’ man has to say it first before you say it

13 September 2016, 21:20 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Your is in italics because we all know as women we like thinking the man is ours yet him he is just passing time in our life before he moves on to other things.

Modern dating and relationships is very tricky. Sometimes I think we should just go back to arranged marriages so that we can avoid all the confusion.

One minute you think you are dating someone and the next they are asking you why you keep calling them or texting them. Now you are there with a dumb expression because your boyfriend of five years is in a serious relationship and his girlfriend does not like that you keep texting him.

Don’t wait for five years my dear; you cannot get back wasted time. If it has been a year and your man has never said, ‘I love you’, ‘you are my woman’, ‘we are in a relationship’, ‘I am your boyfriend’ or ‘stop seeing other people because we are serious’; that man is not yours, trust me!

Also never say I love you to man first or call him sweetie/ babe unless he does because he will start saying how psychotic you are yet he was just seeing if you are emotionally stable enough to date.

Don’t possess a man first until he possesses you. That is just how it is. It is not playing games because even if he dates you for six months, a man will not want you the minute you possess him. He will feel like you are caging him. It is always a thing with them.

You don’t want a man thinking you forced him into a situation, he will be looking for a way out any minute he gets. Does not matter if he was open to it or looked like he was interested.

Also always keep your options open and keep seeing other people- he also has to know that you are seeing other people unless he tells you not to. That is the only way you will assuredly know that you have a relationship. Assuming things never got any woman anywhere. That is how women end up being surprised with a wedding invitation after years of seeing someone.

Ask him are we in a relationship? See how first the man will disappear, that is just how it works! Same applies to I love yous or you are my boyfriend- that man will be running so fast nothing will catch him for you.

The other day I was speaking to some guy and I could practically feel his fear of unwanted pregnancy. That tells me a lot of things 1. This is not a man to trap- totally wrong approach because he will hate me for it. 2. I should be curious as to whether he NEVER wants any children and thusly do I need this relationship. 3 I should not try to own him until he does own me.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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