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Would you date an independent woman?

05 July 2016, 08:33 Solomon Opala

George goes on a first date with Helen for the first time. He has really worked hard to secure this date. Ever since they exchanged numbers, Helen is always busy or her line offline or roaming due to her many trips abroad. George tries very hard to impress her this evening, he hands her his card for his startup consultancy company and she hands him her elegant gold rimmed card showing her as the HR manager in this blue chip company.

The conversation slides to current affairs and George’s knowledge of the cities of the world is limited to a visit in  Germany by his engineering class during his university days. Apart from Nairobi where he stays, he has done some work in Uganda and Burundi and that is about all.

Of current affairs and places he has visited, they lady unwittingly outsmarts him by her vast knowledge of New York among other cities she has visited or studied in. She is oozing with confidence, almost bordering on conceit and is not afraid to challenge him or control the conversation. At the end, she suggests that they split the bill and when George tries to give her a lift home in his used Toyota 110, she laughs and points at the sleek Mercedes parked across the road.

Helen feels that she held her own this evening and George must have been really impressed by her. Three weeks later, George has not called and Helen brushes it aside as another weak man who cannot handle a strong independent woman. She patiently waits for her prince charming to come and sweep her off her feet.

Read Also: Five benefits of heterosexual monogamous marriage

Many men cringe at the mention of the word independent woman when it comes to dating. They may praise and appreciate them as friends and colleagues but when it comes to romantic relationships, they find it difficult to fall for one.

Webster defines an independent person in two ways. This is one who is; 1. Not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc; thinking or acting for oneself or 2. Not subject to another’s authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free.

An independent woman when it comes to dating is one who has set goals of her own, self reliant and tries to do everything by herself. She also has a hard time giving respect and that is a source of strive in a relationship.

There is nothing wrong in trying to do everything by yourself; actually maturity is all about taking responsibility and agency for one’s life. However, as a lady when you invite a man in your life you have to allow him to do some heavy lifting for you as you sit back. This is good for both parties as it not only reduces stress for the lady who has to deal with everything but also makes the man feel useful and needed.

When as a lady you find it hard to submit and show honor to your man and instead wear feminist lenses and see everything as a gender issue, you remove the romance in the relationship. Femininity arouses chivalry but competition makes the man to stop being a knight in shining amour and instead begins to circle the wagons. 

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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