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Women to blame for dropping male standards

06 January 2016, 14:12 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - See I don’t blame men because when they all keep offering is to bring you to their house instead of taking you out, it is not them but the women who came before and agreed to that. If you are a woman feeling blessed that a man is inviting you to his place without the proper channels, you are not blessed but easy.

I was fielding the same type of conversation with different people, okay men, about the proper way to go about a date is. Like he wants something serious, but no, dates are overrated. Yes, why don’t you just come over to my place and we see how that goes. I had to put myself on pause and wonder if it was a vibe I was giving but then I realized I only had encountered this with mostly Kenyan men. Because every other person I come across is respectful and gentlemanly but Kenyan men want the shortcut to the cookies then still have something to say about it.

Why is it so easy for your man not to buy you lunch but spend over a couple of thousands on drinks and strippers

Because the simple answer has always been that you allow it. If he can get away with it the first time what makes you think he will change the tune afterwards when you have convinced him of your worth. That is what most women do. Let me play his tune in the beginning and when I have hooked him, he will play mine. Not! The stripper will continue getting the money while you keep staying at home ruffling stuff from the cupboard you stocked yourself.

Let me just go to his house this one time, I will beat a different drum next time

Yea, what will happen while you are at the house is not just talk because eventually someone will figure out how to drop the panties. ‘We are going to do it either way; I am not trying to be friends but more with you. So what is the difference between now and then?’ ‘Uuum, I don’t know let’s get to know each other more at least.’ ‘That will also happen but I like you a lot.’ Before you know it, it happens and when you leave you already know that you are now going to be the one doing follow up phone calls and trying to set up a date. If the sex was whack, you already know pinning that man down will be very hard.

What is wrong with splitting the bill?

You already know that if someone is the one that did the inviting then they pay. If they make you pay, there is a problem. Going Dutch is awesome and that is only after you two have settled into a comfortable routine. But when you allow some man who did the inviting to twist your arm about the modern ways then you already know this one is coming into your life to stress you. A man who likes you will have no qualms about spending on you but if from day one he is avoiding it, there is another that is being spent on. Meaning you aren’t the only one in his boat he is just looking for the one easiest to manipulate in his little harem.

The worst is when after the first two times, it now becomes a thing where you are paying for both your meals on your tab or you shop for his groceries every time and cook it yourself while he just sits back and relaxes. Easy!

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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