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Women and 30 years old

13 April 2016, 19:05 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - See, I was reading something and it was talking about how you can only have the best of the following when you are in your thirties. I just don’t like people lying to other people; especially when it comes to young women because that is how they end up making mistakes when they should rectify them because they think they still have time. You do not have time and because I like being that person; I just have to say it, when you are thirty, you are older and the time is ticking more and more. Before you know it, you are forty, and then fifty and you did not even see that coming. It was 2000 just a few months ago and it is already 2016; if you are still not getting the idea, I cannot say more.

That is how most women in that age group end up making a rush of things. You rush your decisions because now, you are starting to realize that you made the wrong moves at the best time of your life.

It is okay to make mistakes in your twenties, I agree, but make them and let them improve you. Do not make them and lie to yourself that you still have your thirties to muddle through it and make it alright.

You can have a good career and you can also have a good man in your life.

Wrong feminists are already in their feelings because I am saying you cannot have a life without a man but that is part of the problem. But you can have a life without a man only that if you want one, why are you pretending that you don’t? There is nothing wrong with feminism; only when it is used to create hate against another gender is when it is wrong. We are African women and we do want the same things if not more of what our mothers had. We just go about it the wrong way.

A certain lady I know, in her mid-thirties came to a realization last week. You see a lot of people got a bit out if their daze when Mr. Call-me-less got married or married-whichever. She realized that she wants a relationship and now she has no idea where to start. She wants a husband, a good husband but she already has a kid. It is hitting her on all those men she ignored because she did not feel like they were in her caliber. She had a top-notch career and she wanted a high class man to match it but now she is already aging and the men she has to go for have to be older. This is Kenya; if you go for a young man just know he is there to play with you. I always tell women, perky breasts have a lot of sway because men in her age group are looking for women in their twenties. Not all of them are dim, most are smart, educated and have their lives together. Now who is this particular lady left to choose from? Just think realistically for a minute-realistically!

In her 20s she assumed as long as she had brains, smarts and beautiful she would get hers when the time came but see with her time, the women in that age group also improved.  Don’t make the same mistakes she did. If you want a family and to age with a man in your life; when you see that man and he is good to you, and everything else you can work with-don’t dilly dally, don’t be stupid. Don’t wait. Don’t think you have time; the guy will move on and will find someone else. Then when you decide you are ready, you will have to settle in most cases and I bet you, you will not be happy. There is always that one lucky one that gets someone good for them but it is rare.

Men in their 30s, choose women in their 20s. Men in their 40s, choose women in their 20s and late 20s early 30s. Early thirty means 31.It is very hard and very rare to find them settling with their own age mates. So women in their 30s land men in their 50s and above. As an African woman, you know you will not be happy that way.

So don’t be shallow in your 20s and think you can be mean because you are waiting and have time. If a situation presents itself take it. If it does not, then you do not have to force it, you wait and be open minded. Don’t be so close-minded.

If you are in your 30s, that does not mean that you have to lose. Be open minded to other cultures if yours is not working out. We all know how most African men are Neanderthals; it’s the truth, especially Kenyan men. He will just want you for business but nothing more and maybe laugh because he is reminiscing on all the men you dissed. Just go across borders. Be open-minded, you don’t have to settle if you do not want to.



- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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