Why you should raise your child to be independent
30 September 2016, 16:00
Nairobi - A friend was driving a couple’s kids to
school. Both teenagers, one is a boy the other a girl. So one day the teenage
girl tells her, ‘You know I am going to college soon and I do not even know how
to make my own bed. I do not even know how long I should stay before I change
the sheets because we have people to do that. I just find it made.’
At first you will want to bash her but then
you pull back and appreciate the fact that, she knows she has a problem that
she has to fix. She is acknowledging the fact that on her own, she might be
unable to tend to herself.
- Teach your child the basic
stuff from a young age so that they can do it for themselves
When your child sees the maid making the
bed and says she wants to make her own; don’t mock her or tell her it is not
her job. Even the toddler, even if they do a shoddy job, don’t go and correct
it. Let them have their pride moment. Adults have a habit of belittling little
children’s efforts not realizing that it is something that sticks. That child
will eventually not be bothered. Then as
teenagers you want to quarrel them for not doing. Character are habits formed.
When she learns to do it on her own from a young age, she will not stop. This
girl has no idea how to make a bed…spread a simple sheet on simple mattress. Now
you can imagine her with her own laundry or what happens when she has to eat
and she is not at home. Take out is expensive.
- Teach your child about money
when they are young
This is usually the trick, give them a jar
or one of those Jumbo elephants banks Kenyan banks give out. Give your child
money and tell them to save it so that if they want to buy something; they will
afford it for themselves. This teaches dedication. If your child wants a
particular videogame or toy; they do a certain chore, you pay them, not large
sums, little sums so that you can measure how dedicated they are when they
actually want something.
Saving also teaches children responsibility
with their money. ‘Do I want the sweet or the toy?’ But now some of you parents
just buy and it teaches the child to be a little demanding brat, you will eat
fruits of your labour when they still live in your house with nothing to do at
- You have to let them be on
their own at times
Stop carrying them around everywhere
because you are afraid. Stop babying your child when they are toddlers, let
them play on their own and be around other kids on their own. They learn
interpersonal skills that way. But when you get too scared because you see one
child not acting the way yu want them to around your child; your child will
never be able to interact properly with other kids. They will always be looking
for you to take care of them.
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