Why it is your fault if your spouse/partner chooses to cheat on you with someone close to you
30 August 2016, 18:19
Nairobi - Why am I saying it is your fault? Because of your bad judgment.
Bad judgment on someone that is apparently meant to be your friend but is a frienemy.
Bad judgment on someone you brought into your life- by yourself, to help make your life even worse with problems that were never there before.
If you look at it that way, you can now see how it is your bad judgment.
It is very hard to find people that genuinely like you and will not go out of their way to make your life more complicated which is why it is always wise to watch the people you bring around you. Both friends and relationship candidates.
If they can easily dump you once they find that you have a friend that is a better prospect you should not point the finger at them but yourself. Ask yourself why your friend will find it easy to betray you and not look back. They were not friends to begin with then.
Same applies to the partner because at least good riddance to bad rubbish.
Which is why I don’t think I can get past my two fingers when I imagine the people that are actually my ‘friends’.
Recently, I got a very good opportunity and one of my friends was apparently very happy for me. She was too happy in the insistence I could literally smell the fish; like she was trying to convince herself and I that she actually was. Whenever we talk it is like I have to search high and low for her; like I have to make an appointment in her Whatsapp but when I am with her, she is constantly on the phone. Basically our communication is reduced to look like I am bothering her. So I stopped bothering.
She recently confessed she wants to changer her job and with that, came with invitations for nights out. Then there was the message talking about missing me. I already knew what this was. She wants me to facilitate her to come to my company. I am also not stupid, I knew my friend’s looks (she is Eritrean, so.. ) will get her my job and position (she knows it as well hence this game we are playing) so I was not going to play myself.
Now, you can see, this is not a boyfriend and girlfriend situation but it relates. If I bring my friend around my very young boss who will definitely get enticed; it is I who brought the problem (my supposed girlfriend) to myself. So she is not even coming to visit unless he is out of the country.
The same way, you are in charge of bringing your girlfriend or spouse to the person that will betray you with them. They are your friends.
It is all about your judgment and how you go about picking the people in your circle. I cannot go around distrusting everyone but I can definitely coordinate who is where and whom I allow too close.
Your judgment; your fault.
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