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Why he hasn't asked you for sex yet!

27 May 2016, 15:11

Based on everything you see in the media and hear from your peers, it is almost assumed that anyone dating is also having sex. Lots of people are not sexually active, and just because he hasn't made a move on you, that it doesn't mean that something is wrong with him or with you for that matter. But if sex is important to you, it's worth bringing up in even-handed and open-minded conversation.

He is scared of rejection.

 He could really, really want to have sex with you, but he might just be psyching himself out. Maybe he thinks you are out of his league or he is going to screw things up, and he's not confident enough in himself. He might not be a virgin, but he could still be inexperienced.

He is a virgin.

It's entirely possible he still has his V-card and feels bad about it for some reason. He shouldn't, but since everyone talks and acts like they're having sex all the time, he might be embarrassed to be fumbling awkwardly with everything from the condom to your lady parts. Or, maybe he is a virgin open to having sex but doesn't want to just "lose" it on some drunken second-date fling. Maybe he just wants to save himself for his wife.

 He is religious.

 It is also possible he is waiting for marriage for religious purposes. Several religions forbid sex before marriage, and staunch observers of their faiths are going to stick to these rules. This is a decision on his part that should be respected, and if it's something you have a problem with, that's a conversation for your partner.

He's got some kind of emotional hang-up.

He might have low self-esteem, or a scar, or some kind of post-surgery device that he doesn't want you to see. Which, if you like him, it wouldn’t be a big deal to you anyway. If you've got suspicions this is the reason he hasn't made a move, make sure to be mindful and careful and understanding.

He just sees your "dates" as "hanging out with a friend"

 You are not on the same page. Sometimes people just get their wires completely crossed. If he has not even kissed you yet, let alone torn off your clothes and made passionate love to you, it could just be that he just sees you as a friend and has no idea that you have got a romantic interest in him. If that thought is making you cringe so hard your whole body is cramping up, don't sweat it. It's fine to ask him where you stand with each other and where he sees things going without making it sound like you assumed you two were dating.

He is old-fashioned and reserved

 He might be an old-fashioned romantic who just wants to wait for the right time, whether that means he is waiting for a special moment or he just wants to make sure you're serious. Sure, men often get painted as sex-crazed maniacs who put intercourse above all else, but that's not the case for everyone. And loving sex is not wrong either; it's just that everyone is going to have a different attitude toward it.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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