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Why do married people cheat?

06 June 2016, 17:08 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I used the term married because in my opinion, if you are in a relationship and it no longer satisfies you the way it needs to; you cut it off and let everyone move along. No point in disappointing each other in something that no longer works.

People who are married on the other hand are normally in a sort of fix. You are bound; you have children, finances and all those things to think about. You just get confused amid all that and wonder what to do, so what do people choose? The short-cut; the one that you can hide and if it does not work, you come back and pretend like you were not doing anything dirty.

Why do people cheat?

They no longer get what they expected from the marriage

Expectations are a good thing-they make you a visionary but they are also a bad thing because they make you assume a lot of things you should not. From both sides, there is an idea of what and how something should work. Marriage means, I get more sex. Marriage means he or she will pay attention more. Marriage means I will have more of this and that until life happens; in the name of career and responsibilities. Someone is now married to work as long as they have given you the number of kids you wanted, they can now concentrate on other things.

One person ends up feeling neglected and in the end, cheating happens. It is only so long before someone gets tired of begging for something when they are being offered by someone else.

Birds of a feather flock together

There is a reason married people try to control the type of friends that are around their spouse. Those habits have a way of influencing the other. If you hung out with your ‘buddies’ that have mistresses or boyfriends on the side; you have a lot of out of town trips. What will happen when you notice that you are always the only one who is alone while they have someone? You will eventually fall into the same habit-you will get one yourself because you will find a way to justify why you need one just like everybody else.

You are not getting that attention from your own spouse

I am not saying people are children but most marriages work like this; you marry someone and you eventually ignore them. Your spouse has to be your boyfriend or girlfriend because they are still a man or a woman. Don’t let someone else come in and help you do what you should have been doing. Neglecting a spouse will lead to them finding another way to deal with that empty space and we know these days, the married the person, the more attractive they are to someone.

The change

As small minded as it may sound; your appearance does matter. They married you for the way you presented yourself, took care of yourself, worked out, ate well and smelt nice. A few years of marriage and people let go of themselves. Bad as it may sound, they will not want to be seen with you, if it is extreme. So they look for the trophy. You stay at home; the trophy goes to company events and trips so that someone is not ashamed.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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