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Why being single is nice

04 December 2015, 14:28 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Let me start by first stating that I am single, so this is not a hater piece of mail but just a piece of advice. Don’t take it the wrong way.

I have come across enough articles that encourage everyone; both male and female why they should be single, why they should be living in bliss because they are single or why it is a milestone for them to be in that position because they are apparently ‘getting to know a new them’. Okay, they all make sense and some are actually great. Getting to know yourself and what you might appreciate when you eventually get into a relationship-those are good things. Very awesome things!

But wait what if it is a forced type of situation? What if your type of single is the type that is now hinging on desperation with you trying to be okay with it but you are actually not.

Good type of single: immediately after a relationship and you just want to relax from that circus, having a rebound, travelling on your own, going out and doing things on your own, getting your career on track and just making moves when you had put a pause on it all. These situations make you happy, and you feel energized at the idea of just having a new project without having to check with someone else’s plans for you. That is good single. Good single is when you are not recklessly dating in a rush because now you have to find the one. Good single is dating because it is just ‘what if’ because you are chilling.

Now bad single that I am sure a lot of people will attest to. Starts in two ways; a relationship that ended amicably or one that ended disastrously both situations will get you to a good single but after a while; are you still getting to know yourself 3-4 years after your last real relationship? Now that is bad single. You also know that you have been searching for a while and as time passes you are starting to wonder what went wrong. Maybe it is, ‘what is wrong with you?’ Why can’t someone just say, ‘lets you and I try this together because I think we would make a good team?’ To you!

 You worked on your business, career, and friends (they cannot date and marry you, you will have to let them be at some point) but when it comes to actually having a good relationship, no one wants to be in the boat with you. So you glorify yourself under the articles I mentioned that encourage you to continue sticking in a situation that you are not comfortable in. You want something different but you are not willing to put yourself under a microscope and ask what you can do differently to attract what you want.

Writers do not know everything, a therapist will charge you an hour but he or she will not give you a husband of wife after the sessions are over neither are they waiting for you in that lobby. Don’t date someone you met at your therapist’s office.

What I am saying is, if you are not happy being single then don’t find comfort in ‘9 reasons why being single today is good for you’. You did that a year ago, now you want to move to the next chapter, so just do it and admit that you want that. Stop playing yourself. You will get lost. If you want a husband/ wife, a relationship, marriage, children and a companion; admit it, there is nothing wrong with that. Tell everyone; whoever laughs, that is their problem. Someone might just be listening and thinking, ‘all this while I had thought you wouldn’t date me so I never asked!’.

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- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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