Why being single is nice
04 December 2015, 14:28
Nairobi - Let me start by first stating that I am single, so this is
not a hater piece of mail but just a piece of advice. Don’t take it the wrong
I have come across enough articles that encourage everyone;
both male and female why they should be single, why they should be living in
bliss because they are single or why it is a milestone for them to be in that
position because they are apparently ‘getting to know a new them’. Okay, they
all make sense and some are actually great. Getting to know yourself and what
you might appreciate when you eventually get into a relationship-those are good
things. Very awesome things!
But wait what if it is a forced type of situation? What if
your type of single is the type that is now hinging on desperation with you
trying to be okay with it but you are actually not.
Good type of single: immediately after a relationship and
you just want to relax from that circus, having a rebound, travelling on your
own, going out and doing things on your own, getting your career on track and
just making moves when you had put a pause on it all. These situations make you
happy, and you feel energized at the idea of just having a new project without
having to check with someone else’s plans for you. That is good single. Good
single is when you are not recklessly dating in a rush because now you have to
find the one. Good single is dating because it is just ‘what if’ because you
Now bad single that I am sure a lot of people will attest
to. Starts in two ways; a relationship that ended amicably or one that ended
disastrously both situations will get you to a good single but after a while;
are you still getting to know yourself 3-4 years after your last real
relationship? Now that is bad single. You also know that you have been
searching for a while and as time passes you are starting to wonder what went
wrong. Maybe it is, ‘what is wrong with you?’ Why can’t someone just say, ‘lets
you and I try this together because I think we would make a good team?’ To you!
You worked on your
business, career, and friends (they cannot date and marry you, you will have to
let them be at some point) but when it comes to actually having a good
relationship, no one wants to be in the boat with you. So you glorify yourself
under the articles I mentioned that encourage you to continue sticking in a
situation that you are not comfortable in. You want something different but you
are not willing to put yourself under a microscope and ask what you can do
differently to attract what you want.
Writers do not know everything, a therapist will charge you
an hour but he or she will not give you a husband of wife after the sessions
are over neither are they waiting for you in that lobby. Don’t date someone you
met at your therapist’s office.
What I am saying is, if you are not happy being single then
don’t find comfort in ‘9 reasons why being single today is good for you’. You
did that a year ago, now you want to move to the next chapter, so just do it
and admit that you want that. Stop playing yourself. You will get lost. If you
want a husband/ wife, a relationship, marriage, children and a companion; admit
it, there is nothing wrong with that. Tell everyone; whoever laughs, that is
their problem. Someone might just be listening and thinking, ‘all this while I
had thought you wouldn’t date me so I never asked!’.
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