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MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24 Kenya. The stories here come from users.

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Why a come we stay is a must for me

05 March 2016, 10:55 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You see the thing I like about cohabiting is that you get to really know the devil you are dancing with before making an irrevocable decision-like marrying them with an actual certificate. Because honestly, a lot of people are quite the pretenders until they get what they want and reach where they want to go. This is why a trial period just ends up being the thing that you were actually trying to avoid in the first place. I think all the cohabiters will agree with me.

But there is a downside which is why a lot of people; women especially are warned, ’Don’t hand over the milk up until he does what he needs to.’

Commitment in marriage is sweeter than the pretend one that you perform while living with someone.

Cohabiting means that you still do not trust this person

Any minute and they can easily walk out for any petty thing that comes up. The trust is less in such a relationship so you do not even open up on the most dire issues because you do not want to be the fool at the end of it. You closet all the relevant information because you are still not sure where their head is.  You do not discuss financial matters openly because you do not want someone to ask you what you earn when they are not even a spouse. You do not talk about what is going on at your work or family back at home because you are worried that at the first sign of trouble they will leave and find something better.

This describes most of the current relationships in our society actually and not exclusively for those cohabiting but I am sure you get the point. The trust is less.

You are not secure in that relationship so everything is done half heartedly

You do not want to risk everything for someone that you are not sure of so whatever it is the two of you do as a couple, you choose to do it with a cage around yourself. Just in case they do not act right, I can easily step out.

It builds even bigger insecurity issues stemming from jealousy and possessiveness because you are sure they can easily be taken since they are not your wife or husband. So you are always watching and snooping; creating bigger issues than what is relevant in a relationship.

The sex will be less satisfying

Married people work harder at it because they do not want a spouse to stray or say it was not available at home. Single people struggle because they do not have partners. Cohabiters on the other hand don’t trust each other enough so the communication is poor. You do not want to ask for something that might make a good spousal candidate run away. So you do what they want and never say what you want-less satisfying sex!

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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