When your man never does what you ask
22 August 2016, 16:42
Nairobi - I am being honed for marriage management
skills and I am learning that I might just be really good at this.
The other day I got home and there was no
kerosene in the stove. There is gas but no kerosene. In every African home you
know that you don’t boil bathing water with the gas- just kerosene. The instant
shower broke- no one bothered. I am one of the guys leaving the house by 5 am
in the morning so you know someone is tempting me as to whether I would choose to
bathe or forego it all together because they have decided not to be bothered.
I decide to be unbothered as well; I bathe
very cold water at 5 am because I will act as they are. You already know they
are onto some passive aggressive approach to see whether I will step up.
It is a game we are playing because the
other day I get home at around 9pm from work and these guys whom I found lazying in the house tell me to go cook.
And because I am just that person I told them they can go ‘screw’ themselves
because I am waking up early while they will still be in the bed sleeping, and
I have to sort my work clothes for the next day as well. They got mad and they
were trying to give me silent treatment.
Joke is on them because you can’t be silent
on someone who is barely there.
This is a full week of shenanigans at the
Abdalla household by the way. All female and everyone is PMSing.
Recently as I alight from the conveyance
delivering me home I smell a fish because everywhere else, there are lights
except for my house. I already knew it was just us. So I get in, laugh to
myself and just snicker. Freshen up after the journey, wear my pyjamas and get
into bed. I am chilling. I was having a really good time. I am out by 5am and
it at 9pm; you know this does not affect me at all basically.
Someone thought I would run around asking
why there were no lights because I need to iron. My boss does not even care if
I come in in jeans or in a sack; as long as I look good in it.
They went and sorted that issue themselves
because when I got home the next day, the lights were back. I was already ready
for this for the next month or more.
What does this have to do with marriage?
I always tell women, you don’t need to nag
your husband about anything. He knows what needs to be done and you just have
to say it once. Why are you running after him to remind him? A man with a job
or business, remembers all that needs to be done there but cannot remember one
thing you tell him? Please, he knows. He is just playing with you.
Unless you are not hard-core, if your man
wants to let the electricity be cut off, let him. If he wants the water to be
cut off, he is the one that will get massively irritated with dirty utensils
and no bathing water. You know you can sort yourself out on the sly, right? If
he wants to find everyone sitting outside because the rent is yet to be paid,
you can just stay late at work and let him find everyone outside. It is not
about being a bad wife or girlfriend; I am just of the opinion that men play
too much and the one they keep poking is there nearest target.
If he wants the kids to be chased from
school, let him wake up and find them sitting there having a good time on
Why are you bothered? He knows, he is just
being an idiot.
Someone will tell you that is bad advice
because the bible says a good wife is like the one on that book; I am not sure
whether it is Psalms 31 or Proverbs 31. But that is like telling me if I just
pray for bread God is going to provide it even if I just choose to sit at home
because am being Christian and not
Your husband wants to be passive
aggressive? You need to learn to play the game as well. Stop playing yourself.
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