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When your man never does what you ask

22 August 2016, 16:42 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I am being honed for marriage management skills and I am learning that I might just be really good at this.

The other day I got home and there was no kerosene in the stove. There is gas but no kerosene. In every African home you know that you don’t boil bathing water with the gas- just kerosene. The instant shower broke- no one bothered. I am one of the guys leaving the house by 5 am in the morning so you know someone is tempting me as to whether I would choose to bathe or forego it all together because they have decided not to be bothered.

I decide to be unbothered as well; I bathe very cold water at 5 am because I will act as they are. You already know they are onto some passive aggressive approach to see whether I will step up.

It is a game we are playing because the other day I get home at around 9pm from work and these guys whom I found lazying in the house tell me to go cook. And because I am just that person I told them they can go ‘screw’ themselves because I am waking up early while they will still be in the bed sleeping, and I have to sort my work clothes for the next day as well. They got mad and they were trying to give me silent treatment.

Joke is on them because you can’t be silent on someone who is barely there.

This is a full week of shenanigans at the Abdalla household by the way. All female and everyone is PMSing.

Recently as I alight from the conveyance delivering me home I smell a fish because everywhere else, there are lights except for my house. I already knew it was just us. So I get in, laugh to myself and just snicker. Freshen up after the journey, wear my pyjamas and get into bed. I am chilling. I was having a really good time. I am out by 5am and it at 9pm; you know this does not affect me at all basically.

Someone thought I would run around asking why there were no lights because I need to iron. My boss does not even care if I come in in jeans or in a sack; as long as I look good in it.

They went and sorted that issue themselves because when I got home the next day, the lights were back. I was already ready for this for the next month or more.

What does this have to do with marriage?

I always tell women, you don’t need to nag your husband about anything. He knows what needs to be done and you just have to say it once. Why are you running after him to remind him? A man with a job or business, remembers all that needs to be done there but cannot remember one thing you tell him? Please, he knows. He is just playing with you.

Unless you are not hard-core, if your man wants to let the electricity be cut off, let him. If he wants the water to be cut off, he is the one that will get massively irritated with dirty utensils and no bathing water. You know you can sort yourself out on the sly, right? If he wants to find everyone sitting outside because the rent is yet to be paid, you can just stay late at work and let him find everyone outside. It is not about being a bad wife or girlfriend; I am just of the opinion that men play too much and the one they keep poking is there nearest target.

If he wants the kids to be chased from school, let him wake up and find them sitting there having a good time on television.

Why are you bothered? He knows, he is just being an idiot.

Someone will tell you that is bad advice because the bible says a good wife is like the one on that book; I am not sure whether it is Psalms 31 or Proverbs 31. But that is like telling me if I just pray for bread God is going to provide it even if I just choose to sit at home because  am being Christian and not sinful. Please!

Your husband wants to be passive aggressive? You need to learn to play the game as well. Stop playing yourself.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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