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When your man is a workaholic

10 March 2016, 20:10 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - It is no longer quite the assumption that it is only the man that can be a workaholic. Women have also taken up the mantle and joined the role of breadwinners. In a relationship, you cannot stand up and tell someone to stop working for the sake of the relationship’s survival because the economy is really tough in Kenya. With all that stealing that the government is doing, we all have to do some pitching in-you know!

So how do you and your partner manage to make a lasting relationship survive or make your marriage work when one of you is quiet the workaholic?

The first step will obviously have to be that you accept your partner and their work

A lot of people will go into a relationship with the assumption that maybe they will slow down after the kids start coming in. You assume that you might be able to change them into accepting that their work is coming in between you and them.

If their work is their lifeblood, you will need to accept that this person will not give in to your demands so be willing and open minded enough to know that you will have to work something out. The other option is to get a partner who will not be bringing in anything or as much as your partner does. Are you ready for that? Of course not, so you accept your partner and their work.

You will also have to have your own sort of thing going on

Assuming that the both of you are yet to have a family and it is just the two of you. You will realize that with a workaholic partner is that it is like they are barely even there. You do not want to lose them as well because you also know that this person is the one for you. To keep you from being miserable about it, you will have to have your own sort of life and things going on. Have a good social life, developing your career as well and what not. This will prevent you from being too miserable about their lack of being around.

Structuring your lives

In the event that you two do have a family, you will need to sit down as a couple and agree on family activities when your partner can actually get away and not make up excuses. They will need to be committed to this as well. Tell them to set aside time for work and time for family because if you let them they will easily overlook your family. You will start to assume that they do not care but it is only that you two never sat down and agreed on some ground rules.

Patience will be important from your part

From all the above you can see that you will definitely be the one doing the most of the compromising. You can easily liken a relationship with a workaholic with a long distance relationship. Because in both cases it is like one partner is never there. You will need to be understanding and patient. You will accept your role as a sort of compensator and the fact that you give more than the ones in other relationships.

At the end of the day it is all a matter of choice. Less working partner or a partner who practically does not work thus less earning at the home or vice versa.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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