When your husband proposes this; just know it is a trick
13 September 2016, 18:21
Nairobi - I feel lucky; I am not married but I am
ready for my husband and his shenanigans.
I am not sure whether to thank my
mother because she is always trying to teach me something or to thank my father
because he is shady and always up to something.
But old age is catching up to him, just the
other day we had guests; and all of us young ladies, my sisters and I went to
the kitchen (as all well behaved
African women should do) while the men
were talking and my father during small talk says this;
Guests: How is the security?
Father: The security is amazing here all
the time. Can you imagine just the other day I was coming home at 2.00am and I was walking and nothing happened
to me? Imagine? That is how good the security is.
My mother’s face was priceless while all
three of us in the kitchen were dying of laughter. Who just admits of their
many escapades to anyone? We all put up a front and pretend that we are Godly people that are in the house by
That is why I am telling you I am so ready
for that husband.
think we should all go to see my parents this Christmas, we will have a good
time. A change from Nairobi.
Lie! If you are a married woman, you should
by all means strive to get your husband to take you to Coast or some other
place other than his village around holidays. Stay at home even. Ask any lady
married to an African man and they will tell you. There is no good time you are
going to be having when you accompany your man to see his people. You are going to be fetching water in rivers and
blowing on firewood to prepare food for twenty people at any given time. Even
if you have water piped to the homestead there is still some hard work you are
going to be doing. Don’t do it; trust me!
traffic was horrible
Make sure your man has his own key to let
himself into the house. Prime example of my father who gets into the house at
two and it is not something that started the other day by the way. My mother
tells us of how my father used to come in even at 3am and he wants you to cook-
at 3am. My father does not eat anything put in a hotpot and even if he comes in
at 9pm; the help was never meant to cook for him. If it was never my mother, it
had to be one of us. If you cooked Ugali at 9pm and he came in at 9.01pm; you
better be getting ready to cook.
I am not planning to do the same with my
husband; you are late, you better have eaten from wherever you are coming from
if you do not want anything put in a hotpot. That is it! This is why women are
marrying white men; he will order take out or whatever. There are levels to
this that men do not understand or get and think it is just about his money. It
is his mentality. A white man can even go in the kitchen and cook; African man
will have hypertension if you tell him the food is not ready when he comes in.
will take care of all the bills; just buy the food
Food includes gas.
It is not bad to help your spouse. Most
women do not know this, but food is the most expensive commodity in a household
and it is recurring. Worst case scenario you get a man that cannot eat Ugali and Sukuma wiki every day of the week but has to eat meat. I used to
date a man, if he ate kales two days in a row, his system shut down, breakfast
was not tea and bread either; now plan that budget and imagine what it came to
at the end of every month. My father never lets my mother buy food because if
it were left up to her, she is very comfortable with eating Ugali and cabbage
for the whole year.
so- and so relative is coming to see us
to see us always turns out to be for one month.
Rarely if ever will your husband have a relative that will just come to drink
tea and go home. That paper bag represents the life they are about to live out
in your house. You cannot have a smirk while they are there either. Be ready!
Mothers don’t stay for one week either. When your man says my mother is coming
to visit for your proper mental health I suggest you prepare a room for a whole
year, that way when you are in year three, you are not tired. When your mother
in law comes to visit, look at it as having a nanny you can at least trust-
that is all I am saying.
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