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When she says NO and what to do about it

25 July 2016, 14:04 Bernard Lugagah

If a lady says ‘no’, she means ‘may be’.

If a lady says ‘may be’, she means ‘yes’.

If a lady says ‘yes’, she is no lady.

Token resistance to sex. That’s what it’s called when a lady says ‘no’ when she really wants to say ‘yes’. It is maddening when a lady who has been receiving and reciprocating the signals you send about turns and says ‘no’. And sometimes by then you are both about fully undressed. What does she mean by that, and more important, what should you do? Here are some speculations on the issue.

A study by Muehlenhard and Hollabaugh investigated this phenomenon and discovered that almost 40% of women admitted being guilty of this confusing habit. And why do they it? For practical reasons: Yes, I want to have sex with you but if I do I will appear cheap and promiscuous, so no. Or because she is unsure of your feelings for her, the surroundings are not comfortable - may be you are trying to close the deal under some hedge somewhere.

Read Also: 10 things never to do to a friend

A woman may also say no even though she is dying for you because she is inhibited. She may feel being sexual is a bridge she is afraid of crossing emotionally, like when she wants you but she knows you are with somebody else, or it is against her morals or she is self-conscious about her body. She wants you so bad, but she is scared when she gets naked and you see the way her breasts sag, or how fat her thighs are you are going to be turned off and won’t want her again. So she keeps on saying no.

Or it’s just that she wants to manipulate you. She doesn’t want to be asked. She wants to be taken and torn apart with a capital P! She feels good when she says no and you talk her into it, tell her how she makes the world go round and so on and so forth. May be she just wants to get back at you, take you to the edge of the Promised Land, and let you have a look, feel it and then she says you ain’t setting foot in it. Perhaps she just wants to be in control of the timing.

That’s how confusing it is. Sometimes a woman will say no and be both surprised and offended that you stopped. I have known it to happen, not from personal experience of course. Knowing what she wants may require you to be psychic. But try to read the ‘no’ in context. What is her tone as she says it? Is it emphatic or halfhearted? What about her body language? Does she try to get up forcefully or does she remain, saying ‘no’ to removing her panty but not making any effort to stop you?  

There is this guy, Vincent Vituri, in his blog the Return of Kings he says, don’t let a woman’s no stop you. Proceed with caution, but proceed. Wish I could give the same advice, but I fear.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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