Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.


MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24 Kenya. The stories here come from users.

Latest Badges:

View all Anne Mutinda's badges.

What makes relationships to last?

18 August 2016, 18:21 Anne Mutinda

Nairobi - We all have different ideas about relationships either at dating or marriage stage. We strongly believe there are things, characters or virtues that define the stability of a relationship. Maybe yes, maybe not.

A new book by Jonah Lehrer-A Book about Love compiles research findings on some of the interesting biases and convictions we hold when looking for a partner, how we stay with them and why we choose them.

Often we search for the other person who shares our similarities but from research as indicated in the book, the only type of similarity significant to a long-lasting relationship is the one called meta-emotions which means how you feel about feelings. That is looking for someone who handles emotions as you.

He refers to John Gottman  from the University of Washington  who has conducted various studies on meta-emotions and argues that they are the real signal variable in terms of predicting whether or not a marriage will last.

“Do you believe you should express anger? Or do you believe in holding it in and waiting for it to fizzle out? Do you think happiness should be shared but anger should be suppressed? Sharing your meta-emotional style gives you a common emotional template, a common language,” he quotes Gottman.

Further, the tendency to act safe in a lasting relationship is not a good sign. A character that is always focused on avoiding conflicts is not a good one since differences between two people will always arise no matter what. And so what matters most is finding someone who can tackle them the way you would and not ignore or run away from them altogether.

Jonah quotes another researcher Daniel Wilde who says “Choosing a partner is choosing a set of problems.” There is no partner with whom we’re not going to fight and get annoyed and complain about. The question is how you deal with those problems….Even minor annoyances tend to become huge fights, because one partner wants to express and the other partner thinks you should hold it in and then all of a sudden it explodes. In contrast, when you have compatible meta-emotional styles — when people agree on how feelings should be expressed — they’re able to diffuse these tensions before they get too big and dangerous.

And so if you are looking for a life partner, find one you can fight and laugh together every day because then you will be promised of a lifelong relationship. Because if you are not fighting then it means both of you don’t care about each other at all because we all raise issues out of concern

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

ODM beats Jubilee in 3 by-elections

27 October 2016, 10:03

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Wilson Ochieng
ODM beats Jubilee in 3 by-electio...

ODM dominates Jubilee Party in by elections.

Submitted by
Wilson Ochieng
Kenyan ivory seized in Vietnam

Vietnamese authorities have seized 1 tonne of ivory smuggled from Kenya, the fifth such seizure in the past month. Read more...

Submitted by
Cyril Mike Odhiz
Kenyans furious on young lady aft...

A young Kenyan woman is the talk of town after she posted a photo with her elderly lover after a round of steamy sex, or so the photo suggested.  Read more...

Submitted by
Kiplangat langat
Uhuru could be a one term Presid...

Bomet governor Isaac Ruto has said that President Uhuru Kenyatta could be a one term President if he fails to increase allocations to the counties. Read more...

Submitted by
Mody Sammy
35 year old farmer a new milliona...

A 35 year old farmer from Mpeketoni Lamu county has become the latest millionaire in town as she became winner in the ongoing ‘Shinda Mamili na Story Ibambe’. Read more...

Submitted by
Shakila Alivitsa
Leave your past relationship bagg...

Leave your past relationship baggage at the door when you start a new relationship. Read more...