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What does a man in progress look like?

05 September 2016, 21:02 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Women are still baffled by this question.

You want to settle down. It is not like you want a rich ready-made man- you are ready to make it work with someone who wants to work with you. Thing is, you are not really sure if your judgment is right up the right alley to prevent you from getting with the lames. You know, the guy that looks like potential but only ends up confusing your life for the next 20 years.

Even I am afraid of potential; honestly speaking. Sometimes I normally feel like I am making a good decision and after the outcome two days later, I am just like, ‘maybe I am really just a dumb person’.

Can you imagine if it is someone you are to spend the rest of your life with and ten years later you realize that you literally sh***ed on your own life. That is what women are afraid of.

The other day this man asked me out and I had to play dumb. I was like, ‘what do you mean out? Out like rave because I don’t have time I always have work or you mean out to eat. You know I am busy, right?’

He says whatever I want. That closes up all my excuses so I pretended I would find time. I might but I don’t trust this one. He literally told me his life story, about his foreign father and what he is up to in under an hour of meeting him. I don’t trust men who talk a lot and tell me what they think I need to hear because now I know you are lying and I just have to find out what you are lying about. That is one problem women have with finding the right, man in progress- men lie a lot so you are never sure of  what someone is saying.

This same man told me he was working on himself so with that regard, he pulled out of school and he will eventually go back after a year. With this whole narrative came a very fancy course that would make any women impressed because it is the type that ensures future generations to come will be catered for.

But a year has been over and I have never seen him make any effort towards going back, leave a lone talk of it or mention it again or whatever so he might just be lying about whatever he is doing. I can also assure you, he is not trying to do some personal business. He is up to some shady business and he is trying to involve me as a future baby mother.

This is why I am not trying to go on any dates with this man or be his anything; he is shady and he is the type of shady all women are afraid of when you speak of potential. He is not a bad man but I know he is not trying to make me live in some shack. I have plans and my ideal future which is not one he can fit in in any way.

When women talk about a man in progress, it is that effort that they have to see. Effort to be better not just be stagnated in the same place year in, year out and being satisfied. Then you are seeing that she is doing well and you want to bring problems in her life. Just leave her alone if you are not ready and call her whatever names you like. At least she knows what she wants and she is working toward it. Not waiting for a push from nowhere.

Maybe if he looked like he was trying to get back on his feet or have plans I would be interested. I keep seeing him though in the same place with the same circus I left him that tells me not much has changed.

So I just smile, maybe I will go eat on a sunny day not at night and I will definitely have a curfew this day.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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