What do you do when the child does not like you
23 May 2016, 18:26
Nairobi - Royal mistake number one that most people
do who are trying to get in the child’s good graces: buy gifts/ give money/
You cannot buy a child. No, you can
actually not buy a child.
If you have been doing it and you thought
it has been working, the child is probably laughing at you in their head.
Children are not stupid, innocent maybe but not stupid.
The child knows what you are doing and that
is why they will be snobbish every time that you are around-so that you can get
them something. The child has noticed that you are desperate for that
acceptance, so they are giving the only reaction that is bound to get you to
keep doing and doing what they want.
The only way you will ever get to the child
is with time. And how do you get time? By making sure, the relationship that
comes first-with the parent- actually jumps through the hurdle.
Chasing after the child in the hopes that
the parent will eventually like you and convince the parent is royally the
worst move. If you never tried to win over the mother or father and the child
is now bored with the rat race- Game over!
For most good parents, the child comes
first so if they say, ‘I do not like him/ her.’ Or God forbid, ‘I do not like
the way he/she stares at me.’ You might not be staring but after that one word
you are done for.
You need to convince the child that you are
actually good for the parent and want to provide a better life with them. Don’t
buy gifts or constantly bribing to get them to like your jokes. You are already
starting this parenting on the wrong foot if the relationship ever skips over
to permanence. It will now be something they will hold over your head in the
Guess what happens when the child starts
acting up even after you get that commitment, the single parent will now say,
you had been pretending all this while. They now doubt you because even they
bought into the idea of your gift giving as your show of ‘love’ for the child.
See, you never cultivated the right type of relationship with either of
them-Game over. Again!
Don’t rush for that acceptance early on in
the relationship. You need that child to respect you not treat you like a
peasant because what that child wants, they get. You can talk to them, ask
after them, the odd gift once in a while but do not make it an everyday thing.
The gift even comes later when the child starts behaving but don’t chase after
good behavior within a month by bribes. That child will make you sweat. And when they are done, they will still not
It gets better if the other parent still
comes around; gift here, gift there, so they are enjoying themselves.
People do not understand how hard it is
dating a single parent especially ones with any child from 3 years old and
still not a teenager. We all pray for the ones that are married. If you are
young that means you are dating someone that is 50 that is why we all have the
tiny ones that frustrate you.
If you are not pleasing the parent, you are
trying to please the child. Your dating time is reduced to 2% because 98 is
going to sick days, emergencies, baby sitting at home (not actually a date)
because there is no one to watch the child, and being a parent that is not a
parent. The last bit is the one that
people dislike. When the parent that you are trying to date cannot make it and
they ask you to fill in; you sort of have to jump in to show you are committed.
The hoops people jump through and they will never tell you until you are in
Moral of the article; you cannot buy kids.
You can try, they will enjoy it but you really are the joke here because they
don’t respect you. Reason is, when they say jump you are already targeting how
high they want, not even asking. Sorry!
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