The reason women hide their property
07 March 2016, 16:43
Nairobi - A couple of people took the liberty to gossip around me
yesterday but as normal I was not paying attention. My mind is always thinking
about something, so I just heard snippets. It all sounded really interesting
but my mind was still concocting things.
My mother always the avid listener and attentive person
decided that I really needed to understand what was happening and being
gossiped about yesterday. I have to admit, after she filled me in, I decided
this was going to make a really good article.
Some lady of their acquaintance bought her OWN piece of
land; around let’s say ¼ of an acre. She did not develop it but at least she
had it. You know what I am saying? You can never go wrong with owning land, in
a prime area.
HER HUSBAND KNEW
She did not hide it or make it a secret, so in true manly
fashion and marital agreement, he decided, ’I have this amount of money. So let
me build up a commercial plot that can be a source of income.’ I told you it
was prime piece of land because it neighbored two Universities and was near the
main road and the one of the main stages to a certain area-meaning you will
never lack tenants.
The woman agreed because, she had yet to come up with
anything on her own and she was like, ‘this is my husband, I am happy he is
thinking ahead on my behalf. I will not spit on this extended hand.’
The man builds and it starts bringing in income before it is
actually even done. You know Kenyans and doing half buildings. The man does not
give the wife even a smidgen of that money despite her lack of any other source
of income ( she used her settlement to get the land). He does not buy food
either or help with upkeep so she is struggling. She goes and asks, ‘Can you
please allow me to collect rent for like at least three households so that it
can maintain the household and buy food for us because you are rarely at home?’
The beating that woman received, I have nothing to liken it
to but the man really showed her for apparently having the audacity to ask him
about HIS money from HER land. Thing is, she has not gone to any authorities to
solve the matter for her because it is just not the Kenya way by the way.
People just keep quite with their problems and pray that witch craft will catch
the sinner. So the woman is still suffering and she has no idea what to do, and
she is not the type to show people that she is miserable with her problems. The
man is winning.
My mother being the heckler she is was telling me, ‘Let a
man try that nonsense with me. ‘Actually, this is the part I heard, ‘I will
tell him to tear that building down or I will do it for him. He leaves me and
my land alone. Kwani what need to I
have of something that is not helping me?’ My mother is Maragoli and if you know a Maragoli
woman, you know that they never joke with their money or just money. Anything
that is money, a Maragoli woman does
not play around.’ She further goes on to elaborate, ‘This is why your father
will never know what I own or have. He is a culprit.’
Which is actually true; my mother knew the man she married
is a spendthrift and one who likes living beyond his means. So when she is
saying she has hidden things, she is not kidding. I even think she has just
told me because in her own words, ‘I will one day die, so you need to know
where these things are. I would rather you all spent it rather than they get
lost with the lawyer.’ Which is actually what happens when you do not tell
anyone what you own; your lawyer has a field day.
If it were possible, she would hide it from me too because
that is just how the Maragoli woman is with her money.
Back to this lady and her problems, she is a source of
lesson and knowledge for any woman.
When you know a man, you just know him and when it is your
husband, you cannot say that you never saw it coming. Look at my mother; she is
not foolish because she knows the Titanic she boarded. She knows that her
husband is the veritable devil where money is concerned, that is why she takes
pains to hide what she has.
This woman, her husband has never been good to her and he
likes his women. I think she allowed it because she thought it was a way for
her to make her husband like her more and leave this other women alone. See how
that worked out for her?
When you marry your man, you will know if he is a helper, a
destroyer, a sabotager or a miser and
then that will help you make a decision when it comes to your financials and
any other property you co-own. It is not that you do not trust your man; it is
just that you are implicitly helping him making the right decisions without his
consent. Because the moment a man lifts his hand on you; as much as you are a strong, independent woman-the damage is
done. You can rarely fight and win beating a man. That is just my two cents. It
is not that I am a coward, just that I know which dogs to pick fights with and
men are not the ones. He will win.
If you are a man and you still do not understand why women
hide property after reading the whole story, then I cannot help you! If you are
a woman, I hope you have understood what I am trying to tell you.
Know the devil you are praying with and know how to handle
it. Because once he knows and he has never been good to you, you are about to
witness the kind of dust you have never seen.
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