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The real reason he has not proposed

09 February 2016, 19:19 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I would not call it a crisis. The Eurobond is a crisis and when the people who implement stealing are declared clueless; that is a crisis. But in the other hand, in Kenya we are facing less and less marriage proposals; less and less relationships and less and less commitment. We all just seem to want the freedom to jump with whomever and whoever and wherever. We want freedom from commitment.

On the other end of the stick; there are a couple of women who are still trying to hold it together and hold out for the ring. But because of the aforementioned situation, there is not end in sight for them where the man in question is involved. It is not that you are a bad woman; you are doing better than the current crop. You also do know that the guy wants to eventually settle down and have a family but he does not want to do it with you.

You think of yourself above him. Not necessarily out of his league but your interactions with him seem to be those of a person who sees herself above the other one. No man wants to ever deal with a woman whom he can clearly see she views him as her lesser.

It can be that simple. It does not even have to come from your words but your actions; you will not have to say it but he can see it.

Today’s jobs don’t guarantee that the man will earn less than the woman. The women are making strides but they also want families. The problem with most Kenyan women is that she will show that in her relationship as well-sort of like she can walk all over him; simply because she earns more.

At times she will not even consult or communicate what she is planning because she is thinking that is a show of submissiveness and her weakness. If he asks, she will just answer that either way she could afford and pay for it overlooking the fact that she is not treating him as a partner but as a child.

At time, the woman might earn less and the man more but she will view herself to be of a more affluent upbringing than his. Maybe he struggled and he is a newcomer; not old money like she is. She will treat him that way in checking his mannerisms while they go out or even at home; making sure he never puts his guard down around her because she will tell him, ‘That is not how we…’

The whole relationship is about her showing him, teaching him and eventually leading him; from his mother’s drawstring to hers. Who wants that especially when lifetime is involved? He will simply just not choose you no matter how much you think you bring to the table.



- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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