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The question every woman asks themselves

22 January 2016, 19:35 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - When you Google menial you will find that it means: ‘not requiring much skill or prestige’.

I was reading something on the internet. It was talking about a certain man just here in our homeland, Kenya who let go of his pride and ego and decided to sell eggs- the boiled ones with kachumbari-not the ones on trays which everyone does. But the ones who hawk to you by the side of the club or bar while you party. He let go of his pride and decided since he can’t get a job to just do that. His wife on the other hand was selling chapatis by the side of the road (it is rent free you know). They are making quite a significant amount from it as his friend narrated. But when the friend saw him he did not quite believe because he thought, ‘wow, you really are selling boiled eggs on the road.’

So I sat down and really thought to myself, this guy was not doing that bad in terms of doing his own business and his own thing. The first thing I asked myself, I actually pictured myself selling eggs by the side of the road and then when that was not working, I wondered if I could date someone selling eggs by the side of the road. Before you discount this, imagine how many eggs this guys sell in a night, for twenty shillings, to all those drunk, hungry club revellers. He was making figures in the 100 K by the end of the month. Something most people sitting in an office have never been able to make in their 20 years working for someone. Just imagine, that is a lot of money especially if you don’t have kids.

So as a woman you are given an option; jobless man or man still looking for office work; or man selling eggs and making a good profit.

As a man, you are given an option; jobless spouse or spouse earning 30K from office work or spouse selling chapati by the side of the road and bringing something home at the end of the day. What choice do you imagine most people would make?

Ego and pride influence a lot of our decisions when it comes to choosing the people we eventually settle with. We do like to save face with people who are not even paying our bills. We like being able to say, ‘my wife works for…’  rather than show your friends that woman who sells chapati at the side of the road is your wife, so they had better be her customers.

You do not want your girlfriends to laugh at your boyfriend who has a grill by the bar. You want to be able to walk into the bar with him so that he can buy all of them drinks. No time for your man to party while he hawks his wares.

That is why the Kenyan man will marry his society wife for everyone to see then get someone’s help pregnant and she goes and stays at home in the village. The true definition of city wife and village wife; the one he presents to his peers and the one he secretes away because her English is not good enough.

Someone would rather complain of being broke and dying of hunger than have their friends see them selling cheap wares on the road or heaven forbid their spouse hawking in the market.

Pride and ego in relationships is the reason why we settle for fake relationships. We care more about what the outside sees rather than what is happening in the inside of that relationship. You would rather look good rather than being taken down a peg or two.

I am still trying to figure out if I can date a hawker though. 

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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