The problem with having many baby daddies
13 June 2016, 14:06
Nairobi - The above piece summarises it simply. Once is rarely an
issue because things happen; as long as you are honest about it though.
But then, there is an upcoming trend. First time, then
second, and a third and by the time you are hitting a forth thinking that you
are ready to settle down, you know you have messed up. The problem with today’s
ladies, I don’t know, if it is that you were not taught how to take care of
yourself, you do it blindly or you are a very hopeful person when it comes to
each man that you date.
Men normally think that it happens because she is all over
and careless. Maybe it is that but I have always chosen to think that she is
hopeful with every relationship she gets into. You date a man, you think this
is it, you let your guard down and before you know it; baby number one. The man
was not thinking of you as wife, so he leaves. You decide to get back in the
game after getting over it, mistake most women make, they never mention a
child; so date, let guard down and then there is number two. He was not the one-you are now on a roll.
Mistake number one is
never letting the men you date know that you already have a child
I have always found the best contraceptive is when a man
finds out you have responsibilities and he can be a part of them as well when
he was never part of the decision making. Another man’s child, that he might
have to take care of; that man will make sure you are on your pills if he
decides to go ahead and he will use whatever he needs to use to make sure that
he only gets you pregnant when he is ready to be with you.
This is the best advice I will ever give you as a single
mother that has an active dating life. Let the man know so that if he leaves,
he is leaving early and if he stays it is because he wants to.
If it is a serious
relationship and your children are with the mother at home, you better start
You see, some women these days have not gotten to understand
that marriage has become so fickle that the slightest thing, no one has to stay
with you. He will leave if you think you can get away with some things. It is
serious, you guys are planning marriage but wait, you never told him that your
mum is taking care of one or two of your juniors back at home-you are in
trouble. Don’t hide something and think that as soon as you get the officially
committed they are obligated to stay with you. Whether you admit it or not,
that’s a responsibility that this man will have to take on as a future husband;
education and what not especially if he has been supporting you. At this point
he has no idea of the extent of what it is about to become so early in the
relationship is the best time to tell someone. They go in with open eyes if
they decide to stay.
different fathers will always be an issue for you is the men also keep popping
I understand that you are hiding it because you don’t want a
potential serious boo to think you are a w****. Baby daddies who keep popping up will always
be a problem in a relationship if they are not coming around with good
intentions but to cause problems. The worst are the ones that are not even
helping you take care of their contribution so it is you struggling and your
boo sees what the future will be like and they all run away. Please choose to
be horizontal, or vertical or whatever with someone who is responsible because
at least when it is all said and done; they will not let their own offspring suffer.
Unless all this was actually your choice after the first
time; in which case-who cares if you don’t?
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