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The mistakes women make with men

14 March 2016, 22:23 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - 

You have the option of remaining single but that is not what happens because you end up trifling with men anyway. Your man can easily determine where you end up after a few years with him. There is the man you can grow with then there is the one you will not go anywhere with. There is the one that will stand by you through everything and there is the one that will leave you by the roadside when you lose that shine.

When you look at it that way, you start to realize that no, it is not him but you and your choice. You could just as easily have said no to the wrong man. But for whatever reason most women don’t and end up playing the, ‘I could have been far if not for you coming into my life.’

No one comes in anywhere without knocking. They can come to the door but you are the one that chooses whether to let them in or shut it in their face.

No, I am not talking money.

Ciara (If you do not know her, then you can Google her) got engaged this past weekend. We are not going to cheer until the nuptials but you get the point, her and her beau are on running the last track-almost making it to the finish line. When she announced that her and her fiancé were practicing celibacy-despite her having a baby father and already having a child, she was mocked. Or rather the man was mocked for playing the waiting game with someone that had already been ‘seen’.

Here it is clearly the lady that was smart. She knew that she was done being around the block, playing games and not being sure about her FUTURE. She decided to not look for a man that was glamorous at the moment or fancy. She wanted someone she could see and build a FUTURE with, so she played her cards right. She chose someone who was humble and not into the fast life as compared to her baby father. She chose someone who would also be a really good father to her son because it is not just about her. And finally, she chose someone who was ready for what she wanted not someone she would have to chase around or try convince that his mind was in the right place. Do you see that as a woman?

Every time a woman makes a bad choice it is every off putting when she wants to play the blame game. Putting the blame of the life she is living or the circumstance she is in on someone else as if someone blind folded her and forced that situation on her. Do not forget that you made the choice yourself.

You overlooked that serious, geeky guy because he was not looking right. He was not handsome enough or funny enough for you and your friends.  He was too black or too ’dry’ for your tastes. You like someone tough and out there and outgoing; someone who works like a disco ball in daytime.  Now that you are eating the fruits of your choices you want to point fingers as if someone else led you there. If you allowed it, that is your fault.

If the man you are with has not led you anywhere since the first moment you met, then do please remember it was your choice to stick around for that. If the man you are with is constantly pulling you back or dragging you down with him-it is your choice as well to be with him. If you have to keep begging someone for commitment and play the ‘wife material’ cliché game; it is your choice that you chose a by who was not ready to be a man. He may be a man but maybe he just does not want to be that for you. So get on moving. At the end of the day, I will not coddle you and lie to you how it is everyone’s fault because it can only be yours because it was your choice-always!

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- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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