The endless fights with mother-in-law: How to avoid them
17 November 2015, 12:08
It is believed that the mother is the role model in the man’s consciousness. Even if he doesn’t realize this, every man searches for a wife who responds to his view of a woman-mother. This thing is buried deep inside of him since his childhood.
It is normal for people to search for such role models in marriage – the same models that their mothers have created in the family. A mother forms the taste of her child.
She creates an example for him of a good housewife, mother and wife. Even if the son of a particular mother doesn’t get on well with her, he subconsciously compares his wife to his mother.
Pay attention to these simple rules if you want to co-exist peacefully with your husband and his mother:
Rule number one: You should never try to argue with her. In all cases, try to stay neutral and not appear like you are opposing her.
Do whatever you can to avoid confrontations with her as it may lead to strains, not just between you and her, but also between you and your husband.
Rule number two: Always remember that it is pointless and naive to try to unite with your mother-in-law against her son and your own husband. In time, he might forgive her for the war she started, but he will never forgive you – you are a traitor in his eyes.
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Besides, especially if he is her only son, he might start feeling ignored, unloved and abandoned… and he might decide to search for someone else’s love (not his mother’s).
Rule number 3: It is even more naive to try to calumniate and disqualify the woman, who sang songs to him before he goes to sleep, took care of his wounds, applauded his successes and supported him when he had a problem. You cannot compete with all that! After all, every person has only one mother (…and he could have a few wives).
Rule number four: If something in her behavior annoys you, it would be best if you put the cards on the table at the beginning of your marriage: a calm way of communicating and existing, no intruding in the relationships between you and your husband, cares and bits of advice – only if they are wanted.
Rule number 5: You should be aware of the fact that family life is not always so calm. And when something goes wrong, usually the mother-in-law starts meddling. Whether you want it or not, she will try to “help” you with the problems in your relationship. This is the thing that you shouldn’t let happen.
Rule number five: Do not try to stop her by word attacks and blockades. When the mother-in-law believes that she is doing the right thing, she is ready to do everything to win the fight and make her “mission” successful.
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