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The church boyfriend

10 July 2016, 04:55 Ruby Amondi

Getting born again is the most important decision one has to make in their lives. I mean, who doesn’t want to spend eternity with their Maker? Well, it doesn’t get rosy the moment you repeat the 'Bwana Yesu' prayer after a pastor, all teary and broken. Actually, the real battle begins when you now start living the transformed life.

One big challenge is getting Mr. Right. Yes, it’s a challenge. Your choices get narrowed because at this point you cannot date a non-believer; who happens to be more fun actually. So the only person you can date is a believer, a demon-chasing, evil-rebuking brother.

You start attending church, just like any other believer, meetings and all. You even contribute to missions and building projects. You actually sit for one hour or so listening to sermons.

Then a man, one of those very active men in church spots you. He is very familiar you have seen him speaking in tongues and preaching in Youth Meetings. He looks at you, not for the first time, but a few times you have caught him red handed with dilated pupils looking your way.

You felt flattered; after all, he is not bad looking. You even overlook the fact that he is wearing an oversize 1874 coat and oversize trousers, mostly brown. I mean, you don’t have a choice; salvation doesn’t seem to blend well with fashion. The ladies wear tents anyway, so you encourage yourself that if it works you will pimp his wardrobe as his future wife. I mean, isn’t Eve supposed to be Adam’s helper?

So this nice looking guy approaches you smiling broadly; then he says, Praise God my sister! Your heart sinks. Sister? Whle you are still wondering if you have been sister-zoned, he manages to ask your number with the intention of buying you coffee over fellowship.

Read Also: The life of a 'Sponsor'

At home, you consult Google if fellowship is a Godly word for date and if sister can be used to non-siblings.

Anyway, you finally meet for the date - I mean fellowship, a few times, over coffee. He always turns up in his great great grandfather’s coats. All dates are opened with a word of prayer, you are addressed as sister and you start wondering if pumpkin, or sugar is illegal - ok sugar is related to Diabetes but Pumpkin can work.

Your beauty is defined as glory, no 'babe you look beautiful today.' Basically there is so much caution. Swimming is a no, swimsuits are revealing, movies are so censured. Actually, no movies, you shouldn’t be in the same room - its volatile, like petrol and fire. Mind you, you cant stand his oversize outfits; how will you imagine him without it?

Anyway, after the courtship, or whatever it is, he proposes to you, his rib. This is the point you actually think of sex. Will you have sex or is it the desires of the flesh? What will foreplay be? Are you saved or why does this man seem more boring than watching your phone charge? So you block him and change church.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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