The biggest lie about relationships
03 March 2016, 12:55
Nairobi - I will not dispute the following facts: some men are just
good by the way and some women are just that good as well. They are good but
most times you will find that they are the ones that end up with really bad
people and have disastrous relationships/ marriages no matter what they do.
They are the ones we always feel pity and bad for.
Then there are the other ones that are bad, which is the
majority of us but they end up in good relationships. Is it a stroke of luck or
genius in enabling them meet the right people to match their incompetence?
Maybe it is but what do I know?
What I will tell you though is that there is no such
relationship as perfect or any good relationship that has been smooth all the
way. The couples just learnt to create a balance between both their strengths
What some people do is assume that if they got a turn with a
certain partner that their lives would be better or perfect. The grass is
always greener as long as you are allowed to visit once in a while and not
actually tend it. You might get your wish but not even be able to handle them.
So you look at your friend’s husband or your friend’s wife and you think to
yourself, ‘How amazing would my life have been if I had just met them first?’
You probably would have turned them away because they had
bad or poor habits. You probably would have overlooked them because they
weren’t as stylish or classy as you prefer. You forget that they have become
that after your friend gave them a chance.
And that is what all relationships and partners need-a good
chance. If you are not willing to be open minded enough or willing to overlook
some things on your list, then that might be the reason you keep hitting on bad
rocks. None of your partners have that appreciation of saying, ‘If not for you,
I would not have become this better version of myself.’ You want the better
without the work and that makes you easier to walk away from. There is nothing
more you are adding to that person’s life, so they go look for it with other
Good relationships have their problems. They were either
experienced when the couple first met and dealt with. Or they are a constant
that the couples have learnt to manage because they are too important to each
other to walk away from.
So you are still mooning about how much greener your grass
would have been with a particular person but let me ask you, ‘How much work
have you put in at the moment for in whatever situation you currently are in?’
If none, then that is why you have nothing good to show.
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