The advantages of come we stay relationships
17 November 2015, 15:46
Nairobi - Come we stay is not such a bad idea. There is a study that
says married people are healthier as compared to their counterparts; single
people. Maybe it is because of the fact that you do not have to suffer through
long periods of dry spells as compared to when you are single and do not want
to go through the hocus pocus of looking for someone. Or maybe it is because
you have someone to share everything with; by everything we mean problems because
no one likes having to share their money and ‘good’ time.
But what if you did not have to share; what if you and your
partner just agreed that you are together but do not need to combine
You do not have to consult with them if you want to get
something-you just get it
When you are married, everything is a consultation otherwise
you are going to be getting a cold shoulder if the other person did not know.
My mother was always angry with my father, no matter what he bought-even
groceries. She just liked the idea of him telling her what he was about to do
so that she can give some of her contribution (what she wanted him to get, not
money) and not just come home with what he thought he should buy.
When it comes to dissolution it is not a process
People think they have an idea of what marriage is like from
what they watch on television or hear from other people. They think that they
have figured it out and theirs will be much better because they have seen other
people’s mistakes and they will not repeat them. When reality finally kicks in
you start realizing that you were never ready. If there are no kids you can
easily walk away if someone turns out not to be the one for you. If you have
kids, you can just have an adult conversation on what needs to be done in the
future and that is it. You two can part ways and not have to go through the
drama that involves going to court to get a divorce.
You end up not spending a lot of money on a single day event
This one is self-explanatory.
You do not have to stick around when the bullshit comes up
This is why I tell people long engagements are the best. Do
not rush into anything and better yet live with that person and understand
them; not for one month or two but a year or two. If they show their true colors,
you can easily walk away. If you are married on the other hand you start
getting stressed over what both of you have put as joint and the legalities and
You do not have to deal with their excess baggage
Credits, loans and what not; immediately you marry someone,
you are implicitly their guarantor if they ever default on anything. They will
come for you next. If you are not married, you just tell them you do not know
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