The 1 thing married couples should know
22 February 2016, 19:01
Nairobi - Normally when I watch that show on Citizen at 7:30 on
Saturday’s, a couple of things click in my mind. 1. Either they are a bunch of
liars or 2. They actually do believe what they are saying, thusly, they really
have no idea what is actually going on in people’s homes. Which further
commends that, then they are not in a place to give advice which eventually
leads to low ratings because you people have no idea of what you are talking
about. My mother just punctuates their conversations with, ‘Do these people
know what they are talking about?’
The one truth that I will give anyone that is going into
marriage is that, no one will give you advice that will perfectly work for you
and your marriage; simply because, they are not the ones in that relationship
with you. They will see things the way they choose to see them after you have
explained it. They will choose to interpret things the way they want to and not
from the way you would like them to. To simply put it, you are the only one
that knows why you went into that association with the person you chose to do
it with and you are the one that knows them best. You are the one that lives
and deals with them on a daily basis.
So, when the expert is telling you to carry
water to the bathroom for your husband, she does not know whether you have no
maid to prepare you kids to go to school or your husband leaves for work at
four and comes back at 10 in the nigh. She has no idea what is going on in your
home; don’t follow advice blindly that will put you in hotter waters than what
you were experiencing before.
You are the only one who understands your partner and what
they expected or wanted to make your marriage work. Some suggestions you may be
given and they will be biased to what the advisor wants but do it with your
partner and you become a turn off. Someone might want a meek wife but your
husband might like a partner who speaks her mind and that is why he married
that. So when you listen to the former’s advice you find that your partner no
longer wants to deal or talk to you because you now simper and cower at things;
because you do not want to ruin your marriage and that is what you were told to
Changing things in a relationship without a conversation or
without having any problems might end up creating problem for you. Maybe
someone liked the way things were and because you worried and started listen to
the wrong people, you panic and start doing things. Now your partner starts
thinking or commiserating, ‘I do not know why he/she has changed?’ Just because
you were trying to make things perfect but they were working fine for you.
Marriage only works when the two of you are honest enough
with each other and open enough with each other. That way, you communicate
enough with each other to say when things are working or not working.
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