Sometimes, mothers give bad relationship advice
19 September 2016, 11:57
Nairobi - My sister needs some serious TLC in the
form of some thorough lashing on her behind.
Some family friends came over yesterday and
what was meant to be an hour visit extended to eight o’clock in the night. So
we are all grown and we can express ourselves openly around the folks now they
cannot throw us over the knee but my mother still knows how to throw stuff.
Conversation eventually turned to
relationships and everyone was talking about what they are hoping for and what
I don’t know if you have ever read this but
my sister has this idea that she is just going to school as an option. She is
not intending to use her education for any blue collar jobs or even white
Her (last night): I am just reading so that
I can tell my kids when they ask that I was bright and so they know I am
intelligent. I will just work for a short while then marry a rich man. I am not
cut out for working.
So all the dads stare at her and the mums
also stare. I am making my usual face because this was not news to me.
Then my mother starts, ‘Amen! Whatever you
confess so shall you possess!’ And all the mothers chime in as well. So one of
them asks her if she is going to be helping out with bills. She says yes.
So I don’t know if she had forgotten that
she will not be working hence no money of her own to be paying any bills or
helping out. I kept quiet because I know when to open my trap and when to shut
it and this was the time to keep it shut and listen.
The mothers encouraged her because they
thought that is a good way to think.
How is that a good way to think?
My mother knows from experience how bad it
is not to have your own source of income from paying fees for all her sisters’
children. We are not talking about one
or two kids but four; you have not added all the others.
Yet she is here telling her own daughter,
‘You are right. Get yourself a rich husband, be comfortable and completely rely on him.’
If you read my stuff, you already know I do
not trust men, they change their minds every second. Told those mothers as
well. One minute he loves you, the second minute he is in love elsewhere and
not caring what happens to you. So imagine my sister in a situation where the
man changes his mind after helping her bear some broods and she has nothing of
This is where African problems start. She
will come and look for the sister to help. It will not be a situation where I
planned for my own kids, and know what to do with my life as I planned it. It
will be family= you carry family problems as well despite the fact that she
created the situation herself. Why would you go to school the make yourself
redundant? That baffles my mind.
We have this sort of love- hate
relationship because she thinks she is smarter than me so I cannot give her
advice and tell her, her thinking is wrong. As long as mother says she is
right, then she is right. Cannot wait
for this to eventually unfold because I can tell you it will be very juicy to
hear the ‘I wish’ or ‘mum, it is your fault’.
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