Simple ways to heal his damaged Ego
10 November 2015, 12:08
“I cannot understand why my husband wants me to be depressed. Before, we never argued when I criticized him about his clothes. Now, he gets angry when I say something about what he is wearing. Before, he used to help me with everything, but after going back to work and when I really need his help, he refuses to do anything.”
The husband of this woman suffers from the so called “damaged ego”. He understands that his wife should go back to work, but deep inside he cannot agree with that. His sensitive ego suffers, because he realizes that he can no longer fend for his family without the help of his wife. He feels incapable of doing that, and hence, he defends himself and becomes critical towards every real or imaginary threat.
He cannot realize the problem with his ego and his wife makes things worse by complaining all the time. No man is protected from “damaged ego”. Nowadays, the competitive society makes men face a lot of threats that affect their manhood. Women are going to school and attaining high education which land them better-paying jobs than in the past. Since money comes with power, most women fail to be submissive and this kills their men’s already threatened ego.
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Experts have continuously given this advice to women and it makes a lot of sense.
“Listen to your man, do not criticize him. The woman, who manages to heal the damaged ego of her man could become the most important person in his life. In return, she will get his love and appreciation and these two things will turn your relationship into something really beautiful.” So how exactly do you achieve this?
Men need comfort and quietness. A group of men was asked about what they want to have at home. They all didn’t dream of a luxury car, a swimming pool or expensive furniture. They just wanted calmness. The tension at work is huge. The stress from the efforts that men make to keep their job, to be appreciated by their bosses and to earn enough money is so big that they need a lot of support and comfort at home. This is the reason why calmness is the first thing in the list of their needs.
Men need a partner for their entertainment. In the universal list of a man’s needs, communication falls in the second place after sexual needs. Talking, sharing jokes and playing creates intimacy between partners. Men just seem to love actions. It doesn’t matter if they are going to throw rocks, shoot trees, kick boxes or run around something.
Since they were little, they gather together and make things even without a lot of conversations. The grown man continues with the actions even in the company of his wife. He wants to be entertained by doing things together with her, not by just speaking with her. Sharing a certain activity with her satisfies his needs and he feels happy. In this way, men feel closer to their wives and this creates intimacy between them.
Women are experts in accompanying their friends and partners before marriage. After marriage, they no longer feel the need to be with them on a vacation or somewhere else, because now there are a lot of more important things to do – like cleaning the house, cooking and taking care of the children. Often, relationships become strenuous and lack intimacy as both partners have no time to bond.
There are so many ways to keep your relationship happy, but every journey of a 1 000 miles starts with one step. Here is your first step. Try to be understanding and put in an effort to protect your relationship. You will be amazed at how much these simple steps can do for your relationship.
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