Signs that she is not settled in the marriage
04 August 2016, 14:00
Gentlemen, get this clearly into you minds. The fact that she has said 'I do' in church and you took her home doesn't mean that the battle for her loyalty has ended. As a matter of fact, it has just begun.
The wedding gives you a platform to grow intimacy and oneness. It is an opportunity for you to love her with undivided attention. A commitment to forsake a million others and to love one woman in a million ways.
It takes five to ten years to attain high levels of unity and win her trust. Along the way, there are several tell-tale signs that she has not been fully won over and you need to do more work.
1. She still uses her maiden name. This means that she is not sure of her new identity and wants to take things easy and play safe. The fact that her certificates are in that name and her friends know her like that is just a polite way of telling you that there is more work to be done.
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2. Refuses a joint account. This means that she doesn't trust your money management skills or has something else up her sleeves.
3. Doesn't visit your village/ shags. It has not dawned on her that that is her new address.
4. She keeps a clique of friends unknown to you. When she has business deals with friends you know nothing about, it means that unity is still not on the horizon.
5. Criticizes and challenges your viewpoint. A little criticism and questioning is good but when it becomes competition and it's either her way or the highway, consider winning her over or taking the highway.
Women are encouraged to leave abusive relationships but seldom do we hear similar advise for men. This may be a better option compared to chopping someone's daughter into pieces and serving a long jail term.
Before you throw in the towel, you however need to ensure that you are not the source of disagreement and your demands are not selfish and unrealistic. Woo her by being the best man you can be. Keep your word and shower her with much affection and create a lot of time to just love on her and listen to her needs and complaints.
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