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Should women have back-up lovers?

12 November 2015, 18:59 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - These days’ dating is so unbelievable. You can literally gat any plan that you want and whomever it is with, they will be onboard. How about that? Is having a back up a good plan? From a lady’s point of view, that is how we are advised because it has been discovered that at times you are with someone who is basically jut wasting your time; then they drop a bombshell on you. They want someone else and they are not even two weeks old but she is the one. Really? So this back up plan is actually good for the ladies because it takes us out of such a situation because no matter how bright you think you are; you are not a bright as the next man that will get you.

So that we are clear, you are not having sex with the both of them but just dating the both of them until the right one proves himself. I have also found that it works for me because it takes out all that emotional investment you focus on one person. You think you are putting in effort but you are being annoying and a turnoff. Have you ever thought about it like that? Let them put in the effort and the one who is right will be fished from that sea.

Having a or many backups can also help you appreciate the good intentions that someone can actually have for you as compared to this other one that will just be there biding his time with you. You never want someone to waste your time, trust me! I have seen how broken and bitter someone becomes when they look back at the time they spent with someone who turned out to be no good at all. That is when they start thinking of starting to date at forty and divorcing this other person. They are anxious and frustrated because they do not know where or how to start. It does not even have to be forty but just imagine you met at 25, now you are 32 and they are telling you the feelings are no longer there. Just remember, with age and experience, men look like a fine diamond piece from some Congo mine, women on the other hand, the best you can do is struggle with the ones the younger ones do not find interesting or go around with a cougar label.  Are you ready?

A back up works for the woman because it helps you make the right decision for you. It helps you find out your preference in the man you finally end up with because he showed you something you did not see. You appreciate the love that you and your partner will create because you are sure it is them and no one else you are yet to see. But is it fair to the men though? Would any man like to be a certain woman’s back up and why?

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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