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Separating the work from the personal

30 May 2016, 15:04 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There is nothing more embarrassing than when a spouse storms another spouse’s place of business or work and creates the drama. Either shouting matches or tearful confrontations or let us not forget the drunken stupor one. As a spectator it will look interesting at first and then you just get uncomfortable and then you are now waiting for someone to stop it because you are now also embarrassed.

What about the one that demands to go to the office party only to be the entertainment of the party?

It is really hard for some people when it comes to controlling the situations that directly affect their lives. They just don’t know how.

This is why for a lot of people, you will work with them for over 20 years but you will see no hide or hair of anything called a relation of theirs. It is not that they are hiding them (okay, maybe they are), just that they know what they are dealing with and they would rather their professional name stay intact.

Is it a bad thing when you draw the line and your spouse is not allowed to show up to your work or work event? It is will be personal initially, but some spouses are just not good for business or your career but you married them anyway.

Some events never disappear from people’s minds and once they see your weak points, they will never forget it. Someone will not work with you because how reliable are you if you cannot control your own spouse? How responsible are you if your home life keeps interfering with your professional life?

Marrying a jealous spouse is a lot to deal with. Marrying a possessive spouse is a lot to deal with. Marrying a spouse that is not independent of you gives them a lot of time to come up with such things. When you hear people talk about an emotionally stable person that is what they are referring to; someone who is capable of separating themselves from a situation and think before acting.

Someone who respects you will respect your work so you will not expect them to do some things like storming in your office to confront you on issues that you are sure you don’t even know about. They will not go around slapping co-workers because they are assuming that something is going on.  They will wait for you at home and address their issues there; even if they are part of your business life.

This is why people like working for companies where you need a finger print to get into the door. They are not coming in unless you let them in.

If you are not lucky enough to have that, this is when you take the extreme measures of banning your spouse and their drama from your work place. You know them and you know their tendencies.  At the end of the day, the both of you are the ones who are going to suffer if you let it keep happening because it will be your boss, who cuts you off or a client who can no longer work with you. You are bad for them by association because of your spouse.

This is why I will always say, the key is in your dating life. The things you are dating now are the things you are going to marry. The things you marry are the things that you will have to deal with for as long as you keep them around. But do people listen? No they don’t but choose to cry foul when they realize it had always been an issue they ignored.

Your professional life will always take bigger hits if you choose to be with someone that you can clearly see keeps interfering with it.

Sometimes, it is just not okay to show up at someone’s place of work because it is lunch and you assumed they would be free.  You just don’t show up. Let them be the ones to open that door for you. If they never do then don’t take the initiative. You might embarrass yourself showing up when people are handing in their reports or presentations and you end up looking stupid.

If you know you cannot handle alcohol, either choose not to drink at any of your spouse’s company events or just don’t show up. You will make your spouse or partner a laughing stock. It is poor in taste and poor in representation. Even if they were up for a promotion, it will not happen because no one wants to think if they send the two of you to represent them; one will end up on top of the table dancing.

That is how your personal life, affects your professional life. It takes a few minutes o a shouting match at the reception to put a hold on everything else.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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