Separating the work from the personal
30 May 2016, 15:04
Nairobi - There is nothing more embarrassing than
when a spouse storms another spouse’s place of business or work and creates the
drama. Either shouting matches or tearful confrontations or let us not forget
the drunken stupor one. As a spectator it will look interesting at first and
then you just get uncomfortable and then you are now waiting for someone to
stop it because you are now also embarrassed.
What about the one that demands to go to
the office party only to be the entertainment of the party?
It is really hard for some people when it
comes to controlling the situations that directly affect their lives. They just
don’t know how.
This is why for a lot of people, you will
work with them for over 20 years but you will see no hide or hair of anything
called a relation of theirs. It is not that they are hiding them (okay, maybe
they are), just that they know what they are dealing with and they would rather
their professional name stay intact.
Is it a bad thing when you draw the line
and your spouse is not allowed to show up to your work or work event? It is
will be personal initially, but some spouses are just not good for business or
your career but you married them anyway.
Some events never disappear from people’s
minds and once they see your weak points, they will never forget it. Someone
will not work with you because how reliable are you if you cannot control your own spouse? How responsible
are you if your home life keeps interfering with your professional life?
Marrying a jealous spouse is a lot to deal
with. Marrying a possessive spouse is a lot to deal with. Marrying a spouse
that is not independent of you gives them a lot of time to come up with such
things. When you hear people talk about an emotionally stable person that is
what they are referring to; someone who is capable of separating themselves
from a situation and think before acting.
Someone who respects you will respect your
work so you will not expect them to do some things like storming in your office
to confront you on issues that you are sure you don’t even know about. They
will not go around slapping co-workers because they are assuming that something
is going on. They will wait for you at
home and address their issues there; even if they are part of your business
This is why people like working for
companies where you need a finger print to get into the door. They are not
coming in unless you let them in.
If you are not lucky enough to have that,
this is when you take the extreme measures of banning your spouse and their
drama from your work place. You know them and you know their tendencies. At the end of the day, the both of you are
the ones who are going to suffer if you let it keep happening because it will
be your boss, who cuts you off or a client who can no longer work with you. You
are bad for them by association because of your spouse.
This is why I will always say, the key is
in your dating life. The things you are dating now are the things you are going
to marry. The things you marry are the things that you will have to deal with
for as long as you keep them around. But do people listen? No they don’t but
choose to cry foul when they realize it had always been an issue they ignored.
Your professional life will always take
bigger hits if you choose to be with someone that you can clearly see keeps
interfering with it.
Sometimes, it is just not okay to show up
at someone’s place of work because it is lunch and you assumed they would be
free. You just don’t show up. Let them
be the ones to open that door for you. If they never do then don’t take the
initiative. You might embarrass yourself showing up when people are handing in
their reports or presentations and you end up looking stupid.
If you know you cannot handle alcohol,
either choose not to drink at any of your spouse’s company events or just don’t
show up. You will make your spouse or partner a laughing stock. It is poor in
taste and poor in representation. Even if they were up for a promotion, it will
not happen because no one wants to think if they send the two of you to represent
them; one will end up on top of the table dancing.
That is how your personal life, affects
your professional life. It takes a few minutes o a shouting match at the
reception to put a hold on everything else.
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