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Plan B in marriage: Good or bad idea?

18 February 2016, 12:31 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - In this day and age, most people will definitely have said yes because this day’s separation comes so easy to a lot of people and divorce is glorified just like the English breakfast.

‘He is not acting right, I will just divorce him. What do I need this stress for?’

‘She has shown her true colours of not being any type of wife material. Let me go get myself another wife and show her who the man in this relationship is.

Basically, when people get into marriage these days, it is rarely with the intention of actually making it work or recognizing that there will be hardships that you have to work through. If you get tired of it, the motto is, ‘you live once, so to hell with them. I am about to move out and show them.’

Is entering a marriage with an escape plan good advice? No!  That is bad advice, very bad advice. You have a plan B with your financials. You have a plan B with your security in the relationship. You have a plan B in case you lose your job and have children but you do not have a plan B when it comes to marriage because you are technically giving it the right foundation to fail.

It is as simple as that. The minute you have not yet tied the knot to someone and you are already having second thoughts about them or you already have another person in line in case it fails with them to take over; then they are not the person you should e tying the knot with. Or you are just not yet ready.

Constantly looking out and thinking that you can do better is setting yourself up for cheating and adultery.

Truth be told, most couples grow really well together. You get better pay eventually, dress better, look better, and live better-some of the ushamba goes with marriage. So when you get to that point and see other people who were out of your league taking notice, you lie to yourself on how you could have done better. You cheat yourself by thinking; this is no longer working for me because I am a different person now. So you leave all the good things here and chase after the false mirrors some other person was showing you until it breaks. Now you are miserable because it is not what you thought it was.

You need to accept the fact that you are with that person you are with and committed to them in order for any marriage to work. Don’t enter it with doubts. Do not second guess them and make sure they are of the same mind as you are. That is the only way it will work out for the two of you.

Having a plan B will always ensure that you are always looking for reasons why this partnership is not working for you and you would rather enter into a new partnership with another candidate that has presented itself. If that is what you were going for in marriage; having multiple partners, then congratulations you have succeeded. But if you are old school like the most of us are, then take your time and choose your partner. Do not have a plan B set up but choose to commit to them completely. That will make it easier for you guys to deal with any problem that comes back because you are not looking back or outside but at them.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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