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My unborn child is already in trouble

23 September 2016, 14:49 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I hope my man’s mother is up to date when it comes to the care of children because between the two of us (my mother and I) it is going to be a mess.

You see the way mothers are normally looking forward to see their grandchildren, I think my mother is not. Parents are out here pressuring kids on settling down and marrying and start reproducing- even my father was just giving me advice about men the other day. I don’t know where he found the guts.

My mother on the other hand, she is just there. I have noticed she is scared of small children. Not the first time too. When she talks about being a young mother- her holy grail and what saved her are her mother and her mother-in-law (even though they despised each other).

She was just never alone for some weird reason.

She was also lucky enough to have helps that had already given birth; so they majorly sorted her out. I heard her telling my sister yesterday that when it came to eating when she had a child, she never did it with the child. They would take turns. The help would eat first while she held the baby then she would eat.

You should hear her describing new-borns. ‘They cry all the time and you are not even sure why they are crying; then you start crying as well (I knew that to be postpartum depression but I did not chime in I let her continue). Then you cannot even sleep; you guys used to cry the whole night. Then, bathing a child. I really don’t like it (you know she is the one meant to show me how to do it). They are always breaking out with something and they are fragile. I tried everything.’

When she is saying this, there is no undertone of excitement or reminiscing she says it with a very far off sorrowful tone. That is how I know she is scared of small kids. It is like she is telling us indirectly, ‘You better have a plan B because I am not good with this.’

In African tradition, the mother is the one meant to show the daughter how to take care of new-borns; my mother does not even like the idea of seeing a new-born. She will bring the groceries and what not but she better just be holding it. Don’t give her chores to do like washing and whatever. She even avoids visiting a new mother on her first days; she will visit after some time has passed and the baby is looking healthy. But new and fresh out of the womb? Nope! She will come up with excuses.

Part of the reason I might be running away from being a mother too soon. I get it from her. She puts a new meaning to fear when she talks about something. You can literally feel it.

I will be one of those ladies that have to buy books and watch YouTube (thank you internet and YouTube) in order to know what I am doing. Because my mother it seems will be a lost cause. I will be there crying, she will start crying as well and now we are all crying with the baby. I cannot wait to see this drama!

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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