My unborn child is already in trouble
23 September 2016, 14:49
Nairobi - I hope my man’s mother is up to date when
it comes to the care of children because between the two of us (my mother and
I) it is going to be a mess.
You see the way mothers are normally
looking forward to see their grandchildren, I think my mother is not. Parents
are out here pressuring kids on settling down and marrying and start
reproducing- even my father was just giving me advice about men the other day.
I don’t know where he found the guts.
My mother on the other hand, she is just
there. I have noticed she is scared of small children. Not the first time too.
When she talks about being a young mother- her holy grail and what saved her
are her mother and her mother-in-law (even though they despised each other).
She was just never alone for some weird
She was also lucky enough to have helps
that had already given birth; so they majorly sorted her out. I heard her
telling my sister yesterday that when it came to eating when she had a child,
she never did it with the child. They would take turns. The help would eat
first while she held the baby then she would eat.
You should hear her describing new-borns.
‘They cry all the time and you are not even sure why they are crying; then you
start crying as well (I knew that to be postpartum depression but I did not
chime in I let her continue). Then you cannot even sleep; you guys used to cry
the whole night. Then, bathing a child. I really don’t like it (you know she is
the one meant to show me how to do it). They are always breaking out with
something and they are fragile. I tried everything.’
When she is saying this, there is no
undertone of excitement or reminiscing she says it with a very far off
sorrowful tone. That is how I know she is scared of small kids. It is like she
is telling us indirectly, ‘You better have a plan B because I am not good with
In African tradition, the mother is the one
meant to show the daughter how to take care of new-borns; my mother does not
even like the idea of seeing a new-born. She will bring the groceries and what
not but she better just be holding it. Don’t give her chores to do like washing
and whatever. She even avoids visiting a new mother on her first days; she will
visit after some time has passed and the baby is looking healthy. But new and
fresh out of the womb? Nope! She will come up with excuses.
Part of the reason I might be running away
from being a mother too soon. I get it from her. She puts a new meaning to fear
when she talks about something. You can literally feel it.
I will be one of those ladies that have to
buy books and watch YouTube (thank you internet and YouTube) in order to know
what I am doing. Because my mother it seems will be a lost cause. I will be
there crying, she will start crying as well and now we are all crying with the
baby. I cannot wait to see this drama!
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