My new year relationship resolutions
23 December 2015, 17:06
Nairobi - We normally talk about New Year resolutions but what about
an end of year resolution? Someone somewhere is very stressed right not. Not
because of the presents they have to buy during Christmas. This is Kenya, in
Africa; we don’t buy even buy gifts for birthdays after the age of five. You
graduate from Christmas at the age of ten; on the 25thwe sleep the
whole day or go to church, eat and wake up on the 26th and get back
to work. So no one is stressed about buying gifts.
But someone is
wondering how best they will end this year and leave someone, a girlfriend/
boyfriend, or something, the relationship, in this year. I am talking about the
meaningful relationships not the ‘flings’. You may be the victim or the
victimizer; one person is making plans on how to make the relationship better,
the other one is making plans on how best to end it.
What are the signs?
If you have caught
them staring at you with a very devastated look and they look away quickly,
it is normally one of two things; either they were cheating the whole year long
and want to make amends or they are trying to find a way to let you off easy.
They have been
pampering you; situation a. they are about to propose and they want you to
say yes. Situation b. they are guilty as hell for what they are about to
do-break up or c. they are just pampering you because they love you.
How to judge? Look at how your relationship has been for
the past year or months and how your partner has been. Your partner is the key
because if they have been distant they are about to make a decision and they
have reconciled themselves to it.
Also check if they act uneasy around you.
The worst is when you two were engaged and people were
planning the wedding for next year. The problem with long engagements is that
some people come to their senses and realize that they cannot go ahead with
something. That is what rushing into things does to you-heartbreak. If you are
with someone, make sure the both of you are rocking the same waves don’t be the
one to keep pushing for things. It always ends up blowing in your face, like
mentioned above, a broken engagement, and that is usually more embarrassing.
If you are the one instigating the break up then do it now
and don’t wait for next year. Let them get a chance of having a fresh start as
well. You are crossing the year knowing too well what your plans are but if you
allow them to do the same they are making false ones. For example; they are
planning a wedding, where you will both live and a baby on tow; while you have
already moved yourself to another county and with a new house and furniture.
See what I mean? You will mess their whole year and them up. It is painful but
let them know so that when they cross the year they are making resolutions best
suited for them. Don’t wait for after the holidays.
If you are the one being let go off. Appreciate that they
did so now and didn’t allow you to spend the holiday under an illusion. At
least now as you cross the year, you make the best plans and arrangements for
Be sure of your decision.
Don’t disrupt someone and then come next year start telling
them you made a mistake. When you are about to mess someone up, make sure you
are sure. Don’t keep messing with them because they will open up to you since
they are still healing until you mess them up again next time for the next
fling. If it is because of a fling, take a chill pill and think before you ruin
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