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My man wants to leave me

19 April 2016, 22:51 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There has been something that has been bothering me for quite a while now and I did not know how to put it in words in order for someone else to understand what I was trying to say.

I have been thinking about it; but you know the way something is well-formed in your mind but putting it in words or explaining it to someone else becomes sort of difficult? That sort of thing!

So I will just jump right in. I have always wondered what route I would take after many years working and growing with my man then he decides that I am not quite the right fit; that he deserves something better and after his own reflection, I am not it.  You know at this point he comes out and tells you, the feelings are no longer there and he does not love you anymore. He wishes you the best and that he hopes that you can all leave THIS amicably. THIS being the relationship that you have built and worked on for so many years because you thought he was the one for you and thus you never paid mind to anyone else.

Many other men respected the effort you put in for this man, they came to try and distract you. Told you what they would do if you chose them. You refused. You knew that you had found the one for you and you decided, you know what, ‘I choose him. I don’t want anyone else but him.’ ‘I will work hard with him and we are going to do this together.’

Then one day this man wakes up and tells you he does not see the two of you going anywhere together. Or heaven forbid, he has found someone else and even if he does not say that, we all know that that is where it is going to end up. The man now thinks that your Toyota machinery does not look nice enough in his new garage. He now deserves a Rolls Royce Phantom forget that you were part of building that garage.

It has been running through my mind now and for once I put myself in some women’s shoe and shoe still did not fit. Think about it, see it, envision it-I just saw red to be honest.

Most of the time you joke about it and tell someone how they should get over it and how she will not be the first of last but just for a moment, think of her investment and not how easily she should  choose to move on. Tears, fights, time, money, wasted years, choosing this one person every time the devil brought temptation but you were sure you were done and then the same person you sacrificed with turns their back on you; I now understand a lot of women better.

Some may never have even gone through it but that fear is in every woman that most Kenyan women would rather be honest with you and tell you, they are not dealing with potential because they have seen what it looks like. There are a few honorable men but how few because no woman wants to be a fool. At all!

Then you have done so much with someone and extended so much of yourself with them, and another woman comes and swoops in to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Your hands are dried up and gnarled because you had no time for fancy creams or the money and your breasts are drooping from bent back because after a hard day you had to wash clothes and clean up-no maid. Lines on your face from the stress of saving and thinking but she swoops in; fancy hair, nails done and no stress lines because your part investment is working- a woman can go crazy.

That woman who forgave her man and moved on is a saint. This is why some women resort to charms especially if the young sweet thing has a foul mouth to go with her; I can see why that lady will go find juju for you to go mad.

A man will never get it or understand how many of even his friends look at his wife or girlfriend with envy, she says no for you then when you are up there you tell her she does not suit your presence. She regrets it. She looks back and wonders why she has not just left you and gone with the other one who never forgot the one they came up with.

I sort of understand why a woman would now be more of take rather than share or grow because as much as you have good intentions, not all me deserve them. It is that small majority that has ruined it for the rest of you guys. She would rather be in a relationship where even if it does not work, she does not regret any minute of it or time spent-that is why she takes and takes and takes. Then after, she does more asking. That way, she does not look like a fool when you bring the model that suits your status. I am not saying all men do it, but you will know if you are the type.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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