Marriage is not a matter of 'survival for the fittest'
30 June 2016, 10:40
The habits that often show up after wedding can leave you wondering whether you were asleep when you said 'I do' to him or her.
He wakes up at 2am to drink coffee, turns on the radio and leaves the lights on as he goes around the house - and thinks there is no problem with that; your complaints never attract much sympathy. You wonder whether the devil camped on your backyard soon after your wedding.
She piles dishes on the sink for three days and heaps dirty clothes for a month until you have to ask for a pair of socks - then she gets one from the stock of the smelly heap.
The house is in chaos. You will find a tie in the living room and a matching shirt in the study room. She is a career woman. She has limited time for the house chores.
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You need her but the situation in the house does not reflect the woman you married. You argue over miniature differences. You want to go out for a walk, he says he wants to remain indoors. You clash and it becomes a big issue that you spend a whole evening mumbling things nobody can understand. At this moment, he just wishes someone called him for coffee somewhere 40 kilometres away from his house.
When you become husband and wife, there are things your partner should know from the beginning you cannot condone. Marriage is not a matter of 'survival for the fittest' but a union between two adults who should be willing to negotiate and compromise.
Don't choose to persevere in silence. You will be subjecting yourself to long-term suffering. Find a way to tackle sources of your discomfort.
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