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Marriage habits that you need to practise before you actually walk down the aisle

07 June 2016, 16:40 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You have probably heard the phrase about people, namely the men or women, not wanting to buy the cows or the pigs if they are already getting the milk…and sausages for free and without the hustle.

The phrase can be interpreted or misinterpreted in a lot of ways. Obviously no one wants to do something for the other and be taken for granted-which is a point for that phrase. But there is also a point against that phrase as well; people being selfish in their relationships. Hence the reason why we have such poor examples of married couples, everyday divorces and people who generally have no idea of what they are doing.

Most people have no idea of what marriage is actually about because they choose to borrow a leaf from that phrase.

Learning to take responsibility

The blame game is the reason why a lot of marriages and relationships do not do well. Everybody wants to point a finger but no one wants to own that they probably had a part in whatever happens. ‘I am sad because you do not do this’ , ‘we are here because you are not like this…’It is always you, you, you and never I. You will never resolve anything and have a healthy relationship as long as one of you feels like they are always carrying the burden or responsibility for everything in that relationship.

Even if your spouse is a horrible person, you need to learn to say, ‘I chose this, so it is partly my fault.’ You never went in with your eyes blind.

Know your part in a relationship as well because you do not want someone else stepping in to do what you will not do. Do not be used but know how to be there for your partner.

If you cannot say good things about them now, then what happens when you marry?

Maybe you want to have the juiciest gossip, or be able to come together with your people to trade tales. Tearing someone down, especially in public and they know about it is already setting a bad tone for your marriage. That is trust already ruined.

Learn to express yourself, every day that you are in a relationship

You know while you ate and while you are waiting to nub someone, a lot of couples do pretend. It is like you think that when you eventually get that union that you want, you will now put your foot down and have your say. It does not work that way. Poor communication is usually the road for disaster in every aspect of an unhealthy relationship. It extends itself in disagreements, discussions, opinion…everything. If you are not working on your communications right now, you are already doing it wrong.

Putting your relationship first

I am not saying be dependent on it but what that means is that; you cannot go outside before you try from withing. You put your partner first and then everybody else comes in. Not the other way around.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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