Ladies! Tell your man what you want
05 February 2016, 13:03
Nairobi - A lot of marriages and/or relationships these days do not
work out when they could have just as easily worked out if given the 50%
chance. Most of us go into relationships with the expectation that it will not
work out so we end up constantly looking for mistakes and problems to prove to
ourselves that we were right and that person was totally wrong for us.
No person will be right for you because everyone is
different but what we all need is a partner who is able to show us what they
want from us. Not expecting us to read their minds. Silent treatment when there
is a misstep will not make someone think what they did wrong, they could also
be thinking what have they missed-an anniversary or a Valentine? (By the way,
Nairobi men you really lucky this time around in terms of Valentine, not only is it on a church day but
there is also Nairobi Restaurant Week; good food at really affordable prices in
really amazing hotels.)
Most Kenyan women are constantly complaining how the Kenyan
men are no longer good enough, don’t know how to be men and they are a constant
disappoint. It is cool to think you can swoop in and just find a man ready made
for you to take over but at times rough around the edges can become better. Don’t forget that most men grew up in single
parent home just like you did but for most of you at least an aunt here or your
mum taught you how to cook and what was expected. For most men they either grew
up with the mum and no man to show them or a father who was barely there.
So he really won’t know how to treat you if you do not show
him what you want or expect. I am not saying go after someone’s money and have
really high demands; I am talking about what you want from your future husband
or boyfriend. Do you want someone who spends a weeknight with you taking about
you day as you go home. Or do you want someone that reserves at least some
Sundays to take you to church. How do you expect your husband to lead in your
home? If you are constantly berating and quarrelsome, he will never have the
confidence to do so. He will just let you be because you have always walked all
over him in the relationship. You took over the role without being aware.
If you do not want a drunkard for a partner then you had better
act on it now and let it be known. They can change or choose to leave you
because at least you knew what you wanted, made it known and tried. The problem
comes in when women would rather go and complain to outside parties like
friends and say they are just surviving the relationship. If you want a
provider in the future then ask for it now and let him know what you expect of
your husband. That way he knows school fees is on him when he can while you do
something else. Don’t complain about it later when you let him get away with
things. A man will take every opportunity possible to get away with anything he
You also best forget that your man will walk up to you he
has any idea of whatever he is doing; so if you are also not sure of what you
want from a man-then you should probably rethink the decision of chasing after
one. That way you do not have to keep through relationships berating someone
and making them feel like they are no good. Some are good but they are just
feeling out their markers as they are going along.
What does this mean? If he has been keeping the wrong
company, with wrong women; you will have a slightly rough time. If they just
took up anything he dished out, he will not expect difference in you.
On the other hand, if he has been with the right type of
women, then you might have a better time than most and even maybe step up
yourself. Dating just never works the same for everyone; you just have to know
what you want and what you expect.
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