Ladies.... Not all men are gold
29 December 2015, 19:10
Nairobi - Not just with men but with any relationship or situation.
Take a step back from it if you have to keep pushing yourself and working
yourself hard to make it work. Wishing and hoping is good but when it keeps
giving you the wrong results then you have to back away from it for it to fall
into the space you have left if it wants to.
I have told this story countless times but not how it
started. It is the jail man story: I was initially seeing him but he was not
giving me what I wanted. I would have to rush myself to go see him, and he had
this idea that dating and taking time is old school but what you need to do is
directly go to the house and get it on. And he was stingy; which is a sticky
point for me. Not that I want your money, I just like the idea of it being
available. In my way of thinking; I would rather decline rather than get to a
point of begging. Anyway, I was at home one time doing some thinking and
realized that enough was enough. So I just sent a message asking him not to
contact me again because I was done.
He did not say anything other than goodnight which proved to
me what I wanted to know and I forgot about him. Then the next time I hear from
him over a month later is to ask me for money to bail himself out of jail. See,
wrong man definitely wrong man for me and taking a step back took me away from
a potentially bad situation, unplanned pregnancy with the wrong man and a bad
future with a horrible husband.
That is what women need to learn, not that your situation or
your man is bad but you need to allow him the space to date you rather than you
chasing for it or rushing it.
You are worried that if you do not text or call or ask and
plan a date then he will forget about you or continue talking to his other
women. If a man is really interested in dating you, he will not forget, it
might not be at your pace but give him the space to realize and let it sink in
for him that he is ready for you; even if he calls you a week later. It is
If he forgets or does not contact you then that should prove
to you that his interest in you or any relationship with you was not that deep
for him. Women never understand that at times they place themselves in the bad
situations they are in. You chased the relationship, now you are in it and now
you have to keep chasing the man-throughout! Wait for the man who will be
interested, call you without you having to force a conversation and take you on
a date when he is ready. He will choose you every day because you did not have
to force it or force him.
Live your life as you did before; let him be just another
stranger who said hi. Don’t stalk his social media, comment on every one of his
posts and asking if he is available. You are making the rubber band between the
two of you lax and have you ever seen a lax rubber band hold anything? No! You
have to pull it-that is the space- and when it snaps back it holds properly.
Try that for a change and if it does not work, then you can go back to your
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