Ladies, don't work hard to be the man in the relationship
24 June 2016, 10:49
Some women work so hard to be the man they were created not to be even when the prevailing circumstances are all against their plans.
Biologically, men and women are different and our needs vary significantly. Our perceptions and view of things are equally unique.
These differences are the engine that drives relationships. They refine it, make it more interesting and define the broader reason why you are in it.
We learn new things when in a relationship with people who contradict our views. They help re-angle our imaginations and concepts which in the long term either solidify our strengths, transform our weaknesses or even identify them.
But working so hard to become the person you were never created to be drains away the dynamics of human relationships.
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Often, it is the simple things that break relationships such as ignoring to ask for help from your partner. It may not feel important to you or you may think it is ‘just nothing really’ but it something very serious.
The wife becoming a plumber and an electrician even when the husband is available and ready to take on the task is simply overruling his masculinity in the relationship.
Women have been empowered these days and they can make decisions on their own but that should not undermine the man in the relationship.
We have been cultured in a particular way and no matter how things change, some things are just static and very particular to an individual.
For instance, if you are going out for dinner, it is in traditional and societal order for a man to clear the bills. It is very rude and demeaning for a woman to keep on insisting on meeting the food expenses just to show she is equally financially capable. Just don’t unmask his masculinity. But you have the right to ask whether you can share or clear the bills but it should be a command.
The best thing you can do to avoid falling into the trap of implicitly demeaning your partner is to learn their needs, set out roles for each other and respect their values. Do not be the assuming partner because things can get pretty wrong.
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