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Ladies... Does your man deserve you?

01 February 2016, 18:42 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - By now, if you are a Kenyan living in Kenya you already know about that show that is hosted by the beauties Kanze Dena and Lulu Hassan. Those two women just make me wish I could do better with my Kiswahili. The guest host of that show is the one I have a problem with. That Bi. Msafara woman.

 I will not lie that I am a keen follower but this past weekend, I found myself watching it with my parents. As usual that woman, Bi. Msafara was once again putting woman down-as usual! My father seemed to be having a jolly good time, agreeing with her while sliding side looks toward my mum which were meant to say, ’You see, she is right. This is how you are meant to act or behave towards me.’ My mother was diligently ignoring him.

I do not know why Kanze and Lulu let that woman ride roughshod over their opinions and keep mum about what they think. That woman is very backward in my opinion. Even when she is telling men how to treat their women she still finds a way to make the women look bad. That woman talks as if all men are made of gold, are always do gooders, never wrong anyone and they ride on flying carpets to save us from distress.

Women, a piece of advice; advise is good but do know how to separate the wheat from the chaff please.


You see, when that woman talks, I can tell a lot of things about her. That woman I am sure has never left her house at 4am in order to make it to work by 8 am beating the Nairobi traffic. She has never had the courtesy of leaving work by 5pm earliest but still get caught in traffic and get home at 10pm. So when she is busy saying that a man cannot help his woman cook if he gets home that is because she does not know that at times the women are the breadwinners in some instances. So the guy is at home. What is wrong with him cooking if he gets their earlier or stays at home while looking for a job/ He should just sit and wait for her to get at home at 10 so that she can get in the kitchen too?

So when she is busy talking about you waiting to serve your husband food when he comes from the bar; I am not sure the bar her husband used to go too. I am sure there are none that close by 7pm. Is she talking about the ones that men come from at 2pm? So, I sit around until two waiting for the moment the man feels like coming back so that   I can serve him his food. What is wrong with a woman cooking and letting him warm his food when he decides to come home in the wee hours of the morning? Catering to your man is not a hard thing but the modern Kenyan man has learnt to make everything hard for the woman he is with.

‘Wife, I have decided to marry a second wife. You do not mind sharing do you?’

’No husband; you are the head of this household and always right. So whatever you say always goes. If you think we need another wife in this house then it is so. She can bend over here and wash your clothes; while I bend over there lighting the firewood to cook your food!’ Bi Msafara will give you full marks for knowing how to act as a good wife.

For every decision a man makes, let me tell you; you are a sort of accomplice. The moment it becomes too much for him to handler, you better be ready to share or take over the whole load. The minute he cannot support the household, you chip in more or struggle to support your side. The moment he has drama with the other one; you are an unwilling participant.

It is true, do know how to pick your battles but when you see your man about to make you a casualty; please do not be stupid in the name of submissiveness. Stand your ground in your own household. The minute a man is able to get away with anything with you; he will keep pushing and pushing because he is looking for the limit.

Be submissive to the right man not the wrong one

Submissiveness is only given to those men who deserve. A lot of women are in the wrong type of relationships doing everything-pushing heaven and earth for the wrong type of man. She takes care of everything in the house, the children and just basically sorts them out because the man is just a case on his own. Then he comes back in the evening and tells you how he is the head of the household. How? Your wife is basically carrying you; how do you expect her to bow down to you? The only men who deserve that type of worshipping are the ones that know their role and act like their role. They take care of the family and he is obviously seen as the provider. Not this one with a loud bark but no bite. When you have to keep asking for something instead of it being willingly given to you; then you obviously are doing something wrong. Play your role as the man in your woman’s life and we will not have to keep having some conversations.

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- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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