Ladies: Are you dating a boy or a man?
10 December 2015, 19:01
It is quite easy to tell really. If you were just honest
with yourself when it comes to the relationships you pick, you will realize
that some of these men you were pining for were just boys who had a lot of
growing up to do. You are busy pining for an ideal and not someone who actually
existed. You can easily do without him, just by re-evaluating what you are
doing with him and what he is doing with you.
A boy is afraid of
commitment while a man is not
Let me first start by saying, all men are not busy trying to
get committed to someone. It is just a matter of him knowing what he wants,
being ready for it and when it presents itself, he is not afraid to commit to
it (her). The popular variety on the other hand are afraid of commitment
because they see it as an end to their adventures in terms of the many more
they could have and they would miss if they settled down into a relationship
with you. You do not want that stress in your life; if he cannot see what he is
getting, let him go and look for someone that will appreciate being with you.
You are here trying to prove your worth to him, but if he is not ready, that
will not change his mind.
How responsible he is
A lot of women are yet to learn how not to be a man’s
mother. Women are thirsty of the feeling of being needed but you ruin a man’s
perception of you in his life if all you are ever doing is trying to sort out
his messes. Let a man learn to take care of himself then come look for you if
you are what he wants but if what you are always doing is being his fixer, do
not be angry when he settles for a women who stands her ground and draws the
line. You made the mistake of being his mother; you will only ever have that
slot while he keeps looking.
Boy keeps looking for
his potential, a man already knows it and does not need your help working
You know we had to talk about women dating potential. It is
that thirst for wanting to be needed and being the woman that was there when he
had nothing but please do learn to spot the difference. You can drag a cow to
the river but you cannot force it to drink. It will drink if it was thirsty
enough. Some women will carry the cow if they had to bankrupt themselves to buy
a truck to carry it to the river. She will drag the cow from the truck to the
river, then dunk it in the river to drink because it is looking clueless and
then drag it back out of the water. She is laboring intensely after that whole
exercise and she will still not be done. Exhaustion much? Don’t cry foul when
he eventually figures his life out, you were busy being a mother and he does
not want that image at the back of his mind every time he looks at you. Or
arguments with you are already playing out in his head, ‘’But you were nothing
when I first met you!’ He wants a woman who thinks he walks on gold not that
one that saw him being an idiot.
Loyalty to the wrong
In any relationship, loyalty is a very important thing. Be loyal but don’t be loyal to anyone. I once
read a story about a pet snake though I do not remember where. It is very
hilarious. It was a python and it suddenly stopped eating. The owner tried
everything and she just gave up and took it to the vet. The vet checks it and
he asks her, ‘has it been lying with you in bed and curving itself around you?’
the woman says yes. Apparently it was her way of ‘comforting’ the snake. The doctor gives her a frank look and tells
her the snake stopped eating because it was preparing itself to eat her. It
will need a lot of room for that and for digestion. It has been snuggling real
close to you because it is measuring you out and figuring out if it will be
able to take the whole lot of you in her and how large it has to be for that.
You are with this man who is not sure of himself or his
life, you are giving him money to figure out a business and he keeps gambling
and doing weird pyramid schemes. When that snake finally eats you up, don’t cry
or be angry at him, no man has ever said no to freely offered help in terms of
money and bills. You chose that for yourself when you could have easily gone
for another man.
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