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MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24 Kenya. The stories here come from users.

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Just because he becomes a husband does not mean he will take care of his responsibilities

01 August 2016, 19:55 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - This lady did not know that the man she was dating was already married. You know the way men are so sneaky these days. They can’t just be satisfies with the wife, they apparently get bored and go find someone on the side.

But not all these men want to marry again, they just want to have fun. You are good to go as long as you are not waiting for any formal proposal.

So, he was having fun but she as any woman who would think she was seriously dating a guy, she was in something, that could lead to something more.

She gets pregnant- totally not planned- she tells the guy and he finally says, ‘I have a wife, we were just having a bad time.’ Married ladies, don’t bash because this one was hoodwinked clearly.

My advice as bad as it may always sound, is that before you decide you can have unprotected sex that will lead to pushing pram with a man, stalk his life. You don’t want this wife surprise. You will look bad, stalking but in the end, you are armed with knowledge as to whether a situation suits you.

Her dilemma in the end was, now she is alone and wanted to raise her child with a man and have a proper family but this man has left her in a bind with a child from a married man first off. Second, she feels that single mothers are overly stigmatized in getting good relationships and she really wanted a family.

The last bit has a 20% truth in it because these days if we are being honest, men are even looking for those who have given birth because when she is single and older she is apparently barren. She should not even worry about this one. In my opinion.

Secondly, I think she should have a talk with some married women about town because she has this sort of fairy tale arrangement in mind. It is not bad to optimistic but a lot of women go into marriage with the same mind-set, choose the wrong men only to get a culture shock when he moves her in.

Some men are fakers while you are dating and once you marry him, is when the true colours show up. First it will be the first bill he ever forgets, then two, then three and all of a sudden amnesia.

Some of the husbands you see out here have no idea how their children go to school. They have no idea how the bills are paid. They have no idea how they even have supper at home. They are also the ones you will see at the bar every day.

You will think they are taking care of their families, but that is the story of the married ladies that they have to hide not to look like they short-changed themselves. This lady who a man has clearly shown he is dishonest to his own wife and family/ children and she still wants to be with him for the sake of her child. My dear please save yourself all these drama. There are many single women out there raising kids and they are fine, hard but they figure it out and yes, they do get married.

The man might drive a fancy car my idea but you will find when it comes to responsibility it is zero that is why the man is finding it easy to leave you alone with the child. His wife does it on her own, what makes you a different woman not to do so as well. You will be alright.

Marriage does not give a man license to be more responsible, only find a helper if he was ever a provider. If never, just wait for the culture shock.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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