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Is their timeline for marriage?

26 May 2016, 14:51 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I am writing from an African perspective because in our society, there will always be that pressure coming from all sides for you to settle down.

Westernized people do it differently; Janet Jackson is pregnant at 50 on her recent marriage. I am not saying you are Janet Jackson but if you can age that well, then by all means, there is no hurry. But if you have been smoking shisha and drinking like a cow, you better hold onto the first one that is blind.

If it is not attending every one of your friends’ weddings as a maid it is the baby showers you are helping organize. You don’t even have a constant boyfriend to speak off. If it is not a barrage of posts from social media, it is the invitation cards that do it. Although I do not trust social media, a lot of people pretend on social media. So we are going to discount social media on the mere fact that it’s full of a bunch of liars.

Luckily our parents are more practical minded as compared to those of ages ago. They will even cheer you on faster to a career and your own personal life rather than joining it with someone.

But still, people keep marriage at the forefront of everything as if it is the final nail on the coffin as to whether you made it in life or struggling with it.

What I will tell you is this, a lot of people, both men and women are running away from marriage because they are thinking, ‘If I will waste myself on something that might not work, I would rather do it when I am older and with my own things going on. That way, I have not wasted my life.’

Already you are thinking of its failure. That is not how it works.

Marry at 20, marry at 30, marry at 40 or even 100; the trick is usually the choice of partner not a matter of when you did it. If you even wait until 40 but still choose the wrong person to marry; which is what most people do, you will still be miserable.

You can marry at 20 but if the both of you were sure of each other and they were the right one for you; then it will work. A lot of people are so quick to bash people who marry young because to put it quite simply, they were too young to understand the world. To some extent it is true but if you chose to do it with the person that was right for you, and then you have nothing to worry about.

You can choose to let go of a person that is right for you in your late twenties because you are sure that you can still do it at 50. So you wait, and then it so happens you end up with the wrong type. You will regret it.

It is just right partner and right time-when you are ready. If you are ready and they are also ready; don’t be misadvised by someone that you are going too fast, moving too quick or you are being naïve.

We all do things at a different pace and the only way we can personally handle them. If you lack the maturity to identify that in yourself then I will tell you, you are not ready. You need to know yourself before running into marriage or bending due to peer pressure.

There is no good or right way you will ever do it as long as other people are the ones that are making the decision for you. It needs to be you.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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