Is their timeline for marriage?
26 May 2016, 14:51
Nairobi - I am writing from an African perspective
because in our society, there will always be that pressure coming from all
sides for you to settle down.
Westernized people do it differently; Janet Jackson
is pregnant at 50 on her recent marriage. I am not saying you are Janet Jackson
but if you can age that well, then by all means, there is no hurry. But if you
have been smoking shisha and drinking like a cow, you better hold onto the
first one that is blind.
If it is not attending every one of your
friends’ weddings as a maid it is the baby showers you are helping organize.
You don’t even have a constant boyfriend to speak off. If it is not a barrage
of posts from social media, it is the invitation cards that do it. Although I
do not trust social media, a lot of people pretend on social media. So we are
going to discount social media on the mere fact that it’s full of a bunch of
Luckily our parents are more practical
minded as compared to those of ages ago. They will even cheer you on faster to
a career and your own personal life rather than joining it with someone.
But still, people keep marriage at the
forefront of everything as if it is the final nail on the coffin as to whether
you made it in life or struggling with it.
What I will tell you is this, a lot of
people, both men and women are running away from marriage because they are
thinking, ‘If I will waste myself on something that might not work, I would
rather do it when I am older and with my own things going on. That way, I have
not wasted my life.’
Already you are thinking of its failure.
That is not how it works.
Marry at 20, marry at 30, marry at 40 or
even 100; the trick is usually the choice of partner not a matter of when you
did it. If you even wait until 40 but still choose the wrong person to marry;
which is what most people do, you will still be miserable.
You can marry at 20 but if the both of you
were sure of each other and they were the right one for you; then it will work.
A lot of people are so quick to bash people who marry young because to put it
quite simply, they were too young to understand the world. To some extent it is
true but if you chose to do it with the person that was right for you, and then
you have nothing to worry about.
You can choose to let go of a person that
is right for you in your late twenties because you are sure that you can still
do it at 50. So you wait, and then it so happens you end up with the wrong
type. You will regret it.
It is just right partner and right
time-when you are ready. If you are ready and they are also ready; don’t be
misadvised by someone that you are going too fast, moving too quick or you are
We all do things at a different pace and
the only way we can personally handle them. If you lack the maturity to
identify that in yourself then I will tell you, you are not ready. You need to
know yourself before running into marriage or bending due to peer pressure.
There is no good or right way you will ever
do it as long as other people are the ones that are making the decision for
you. It needs to be you.
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