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Is it right for a woman to propose to a man?

24 December 2015, 19:03 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I always say, learn to pace your relationship every step of the way and you will never have to ask advice from outside parties on what is best for you. You will just know what is right, what isn’t and when something is not working.

Pacing is when the both of you are in-sync with each other. They know what you want, you know what they want and the both of you work to ensure the other gets what they deserve. No one gets left behind in doubt like, where is this going, what do they want or am I with the right person.  With pacing it does not matter who proposes because you both knew what was coming and if you knew it was important to him to propose; you would not rush it with desperation but let him do it. If you also knew it did not matter, then you would be ready as his woman to make the step with him.

What makes a lot of women propose is desperation. So she forces it, and not all get abandoned. The problem comes in if the man was not ready, expecting or sure of it. He ends up spending the aftermath; a wedding or marriage in doubt and it ends up breaking down. Not because they were ill suited but because he just was not part of the process; he feels like a prisoner and you know how cool jail is.

Going after what you want has never been a bad or negative thing but doing it with a person who is ill-suited or not on the same wave-length as you are; prepare yourself for failure. Don’t rush for a proposal with someone who has stressed you throughout the whole relationship; that shows they still have some growing up to do. Do not do it with someone  who has always been fickle, in and out or you two were just having a fling. Force might work but you will get served and you will not like the meal you get.

People in bad marriages forget how they started; one trapped someone or made a claim that was false, choosing someone who always showed they were not ready for commitment. Now you are complaining that they are cheating, marriage was never going to change them unless they wanted the change. Look at any bad marriage you know of and find out how it actually started; not the story but the truth, from both sides. There is your answer on if you actually want to propose to someone.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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