Is it right for a woman to propose to a man?
24 December 2015, 19:03
Nairobi - I always say, learn to pace your relationship every step of
the way and you will never have to ask advice from outside parties on what is
best for you. You will just know what is right, what isn’t and when something
is not working.
Pacing is when the both of you are in-sync with each other.
They know what you want, you know what they want and the both of you work to
ensure the other gets what they deserve. No one gets left behind in doubt like,
where is this going, what do they want or am I with the right person. With pacing it does not matter who proposes
because you both knew what was coming and if you knew it was important to him
to propose; you would not rush it with desperation but let him do it. If you
also knew it did not matter, then you would be ready as his woman to make the
step with him.
What makes a lot of women propose is desperation. So she
forces it, and not all get abandoned. The problem comes in if the man was not
ready, expecting or sure of it. He ends up spending the aftermath; a wedding or
marriage in doubt and it ends up breaking down. Not because they were ill
suited but because he just was not part of the process; he feels like a
prisoner and you know how cool jail is.
Going after what you want has never been a bad or negative
thing but doing it with a person who is ill-suited or not on the same
wave-length as you are; prepare yourself for failure. Don’t rush for a proposal
with someone who has stressed you throughout the whole relationship; that shows
they still have some growing up to do. Do not do it with someone who has always been fickle, in and out or you
two were just having a fling. Force might work but you will get served and you
will not like the meal you get.
People in bad marriages forget how they started; one trapped
someone or made a claim that was false, choosing someone who always showed they
were not ready for commitment. Now you are complaining that they are cheating,
marriage was never going to change them unless they wanted the change. Look at
any bad marriage you know of and find out how it actually started; not the
story but the truth, from both sides. There is your answer on if you actually
want to propose to someone.
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