I'm in love with a jobless man
04 January 2016, 15:18
Nairobi - I'm in love with a jobless man. What to do?
‘Failing to plan is planning to fail’
Have you ever seen those people, let us say women for
example, who are in a ‘relationship’ or dating someone (read that as having
sex) with a jobless, lazy and generally lacking in ambition person then get a
very stupid expression because they are now pregnant and lacking in support.
Then she starts crying that he is not good father material since he cannot
provide for his own child or help. How did you figure having sex, unprotected
sex at that will end? Was it meant to suddenly change their situation and that
person’s character? That is what I mean by failing to plan.
When you know someone is not good for you but you continue with
them anyway then I would advise you to take a couple of precautions to save
yourself a lot of drama and tears. It goes for men as well when you are dealing with the 'wrong type' of woman.
If you are not ready to take care of your child by yourself, then plan
If you are parenting with a person whose only support you
get is when they pass by to see the child and that is it; then it is not them
but you. You knew what type of person they were, so no complaints on how lacking they are, you chose that situation.
Let that sink in.
Think of the person you are currently ‘seeing’, ‘forcing to
have a relationship with’, ‘have to chase and they only give you time when they
know sex will get involved’ and etc. Yes you know they are not good so, take
contraceptives, have them wear a condom, wear a condom and at the end of the
day, drop some money in the ‘cookie jar’ because accidents do happen. Every
time you let them in, just know that is 18 years of your life and money (_that
you may not have). Think of that, and then ask yourself if you are ready. If
not consider my plan- always drop a note in the ‘cookie jar’ because you are
going to need it.
Marriage is never going to change a boy into a man or a girl into a
woman; plan for that
Let us talk about the people who are in bad, dissatisfying
and unfulfilling marriages. Were you chosen for your partner? No? If your
answer is no, stop complaining.
It is kind of very interesting to see someone chasing after
a relationship with someone who is clearly tagged with a hazard sign on their
forehead. Let us not even bring in other people telling them so but they saw it
as well while in the relationship but they figured, ‘ahhh, let us get married. Marriage will change them.’ If they are
not supportive now, do save all your money for household expenses and school
fees. Do save and invest to buy your house alone without a partner; if you ever
make it that far. Don’t drink, don’t party, don’t spend on yourself or
vacations because when you come back, all those bills are still going to be
there for you. Marriage does not change someone it just elevates their status. Prepare
yourself to make and eat dinner alone and sorting the kids out. Basically, you
have a wife or husband but technically single. You are on your own.
You forced a relationship with the wrong person; plan for that
Plan for the emotional turmoil, plan for everything
actually. If they lie now, they will always lie. Why do you have to look for
the good in someone who is treating you badly? Then you go and moan to
your friends then go back to them. You should expect all the bad things that
come with someone who did not want to be with you in the first place or with
someone who does not really care about you. So it is not them but you. You
accept the kind of love that you think you deserve. Because trust me, that
person will be a completely different person with someone they respect,
appreciate and really love and like.
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