'I want to move in with him'
11 December 2015, 14:30
Nairobi - It is just moving in with your partner whom you think it
might be serious but you are still not sure it is serious, serious-right?
There will be arguments about whose bill is now apparently becoming
cheaper and whose is more costly to them
It is so easy to throw words around and I am assuming if you
are moving in without the license it is because you are still a young growing
couple. So the wedding can still not be paid for meaning you moved in as a
conscious decision when it came to a more cost-effective living.
In the beginning you throw words around; you pay electricity
and water, I will pay for food and we split the rent. Until you realize you
have to buy food everyday and the monthly budget is just a base; then you will
know what I am talking about.
There will never be an agreement about chores
This is Africa so it is generally assumed in most households
when you move in with the man you are the maid and he continues to live his
life just as if he was living at home with his mother-being done for
everything. So, I do not have a solution for this one unless your partner is
the latest model; romantic, caring, considerate and modern rather than
traditional-you are doing all the housework. They just still don’t get it and they
will still expect you to turn over at night. So do you want to offer free milk
or wait for him to buy it?
On the other hand, if you two agree to help each other out,
there will always be the one who is lagging or not keeping up and rarely around
when they need to be; washing the supper dishes so you wake up to them in the
morning while going to work.
When they spend, you spend
It is their money yes, but if they overspend and cannot keep
up a certain bill, you will have to come out of pocket unless you like living
with no electricity. They will apologize but you will become resentful if they
keep doing it. So ask yourself can you handle your partner’s spendthrift ways?
Different sleep patterns
One likes reading at night, the other drops off immediately.
One is usually on the laptop; the other is just done for the day. One cannot
sleep with the lights on while the other reads; and that is where the trouble
begins unless you two have a bigger space. One partner will end up sleeping on
the couch 4/7 nights because they just have to read. The relationship is over
even before it started.
You have no idea of the foul habits a partner has until you live with
Drooling on the sheets and leaving stains, coming home and
not bothering to shower but taking the dirty feet and placing them on the bed
or couch. Gel in the hair that ends up on the pillow cases that are not washed
for eons….need I say more?
When you live with someone that is when you truly get to
know what you are dealing with, what you know now needs to be erased. It does
not matter as much.
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