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I really don’t look forward to going to my husband’s village

07 September 2016, 22:00 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There is nothing that I dread more than going to the village.

Do you know my grandmother (both of them but one already passed); back to my story, our grandmother has to come see us and we never go to the village. Don’t blame it on us, blame it on our parents.

If there is no electricity even for one hour due to black out purposes I get high blood pressure. I know times have changed and the old folks have electricity but still it is the village. Nothing happens in the village. I am not talking about clubbing either- I don’t club here either way so that is not the problem. The only thing you go to do in the village is breathe fresh air for like a day or two and come back- a week is torture.

I would grow insane because I am used to having something to do. I am not talking about fetching water from the river either. Because let us be honest, it is only a handful of homes that actually do have the water brought to their compound, so as the women, you all have to go to the river and fill drums for the kitchen, bathing , oh, let us not forget water for the cows. It is not for five people either but for everyone, more than ten even meaning it is a daily activity.

Also, when you are in the village with your man; you cannot disrespect him the way you do here. You know like talking back when he talks to you, sneering or clicking when you think he has said something dumb or telling him he cannot go with the men. Women are there to be seen and not to be heard. The only time you talk is when you are asking your man if he is done eating and you can clear his plate or you need to serve him some more. I think that is why men look forward to going to their rural homes because they know we lose the attitude by the time we are at the gate while the women hate it. Your man is about to have a vacation while you run around more than you do normally, trying to please him, his mother, his father and all of his relations. You are proving you were the right choice.

Another thing, you better wake up when you hear the cock crow, no lazying around in bed until 8am. You have to wake up, clean the house and go blow on firewood while making tea. The amount of smoke you and your hair will entertain as a wife in your husband’s home, will make you dread the next time you have to go back. I have natural hair I will be a walking chimney.

By the way, my father never ever tells any of his daughters to go light a jiko, my mother as well. Not because they are coddling us- I wish- but because it is tears and drama. First it is the crying while you are blowing through smoke and the jiko is not even lit and the amount of matches that goes to waste then eventually, the amount of kerosene that will have to be used in the end. Now imagine us with a three stone thing! The embarrassment I am going to cause my future husband when I eventually visit his village is laughable. I will literally carry kerosene from Nairobi, all the 20 something years of my life that I have tried to learn to light a fire, I have been unable to. I doubt it is about to change.

Young lady, don’t even have manicure or fancy hair while going to the village because even if you go with a help or they have one, you will have to get down and dirty. The smoke, amount of washing you will have to do and cleaning- trust me it is not a vacation you are going. Your man is the only one that is going to have a good time; you are going to be the ‘biddable, appropriate, traditional, nice wife that is respectful not just to the parents but most importantly their son.’ You cannot even look him in the eye; don’t believe me, ask any married lady with experience.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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