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I need sex

10 December 2015, 13:02 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - It has been proven that women as they get older, they become more comfortable and open about their sexuality. As they get older their sex drive increases too meaning that for some, they might have a higher sex drive as compared to their partner; the man. This can lead to a mismatch in libido within the relationship. She wants more sex, he wants less sex. That creates a problem for everyone.

You are in the mood he is not

Contrary to your belief, men do not think about sex all the time and a man can actually have a lower sex drive than the woman.  It becomes a problem when both parties do not know how to handle it. For most couples they do not like talking about things that are negative in a relationship. They would rather sweep in under the rug and ignore it. She becomes resentful because she is not getting what she wants and you cannot force someone to be in the mood if they are not.

Cheating comes in and she feels justified because she is not being satisfied in the relationship. Before it gets to that point with any person; you have to figure out what you can and cannot do without in a relationship. The worst mistake you can make is when you know this person does not satisfy you but you stick around hoping they will change, improve or it is not as important. You do not have to cheat if you just look for the person that is right for you in those quarters. Sex can be only a small thing in a relationship until it becomes a really big issue one you have invested in someone. If you know they can never satisfy you, leave them alone and have a relationship with someone who can.

But what if you are married and already settled and the thing creeps up with age?

What do you do about it? You will have to learn to change tactics in this case. How you approach them when they are not in the mood to bring them in the mood. You can’t just jump on them with, ‘Let’s have sex.’ You will have to lead up to it; sexy lingerie, sensual massages and you cannot be obvious about it because that can also be a turn off. Look for something that they enjoy that brings them in the mood.

If on the other hand, your partner is completely ignorant and does not really care then; you might just have a problem. The key is to talk because you cannot hold someone hostage over something that they do not know.

How to avoid it? Before you get in too deep with someone figure it out and if they are not the one for you; they are just that. Do not force it and have regrets later.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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